Life goes on but I'm about to miss the bus...

The only good thing is that the silhouette of the neighbor's cat in their kitchen window is exactly the same, untouched and unaffected. She holds very still and her ears twitch towards things invisible in the dark.

A bit of a preface, disclaimer...
I obviously am horrified that someone would do disgusting violent acts to our city.  I do think that whoever was responsible for the acts needs to be held accountable.  I drove through the city last night, I felt robbed of my personal safety, I've felt tense all week and I was confined to my house all day.  I get how bad of a situation this was.

What I hate is that there are NO positive outcomes to this situation.  Not a single one.  Plenty of innocent people lost their lives, limbs or life as they formerly knew it.  Many more people lost their peace of mind and faith in each other.  At the same time, I can't help looking at this smooth-faced curly-haired guy thats seven years my junior, and feel so sad for him.  Maybe he was of sound mind and so much hatred for Boston that he really wanted to do this.  Just for a minute, though, suppose this was not his idea?  Maybe his brother masterminded it, or he was forced into it from a larger organization that wanted to harm Boston, and he was a pawn. Now, he is the only one left to take the blame.  This guy that crawled into a boat to hide and bleed to death is wished dead and held in such powerful contempt by so many strangers.  To be completely honest, I hope he opens his mouth in a public forum or in court and spews sincere cold hatred for Boston, perhaps that is the only time we will know for certain our community hatred for him is accurately placed.

Then I think about the adorable little boy that got killed, the 20-something girl, the student from China, the young policeman last night...

(I'm not so much doubting he did it, more wondering about the circumstances?)

There is NOTHING that is 'right' here.  Especially not the 'we got him's and death wishes for this man on Facebook.  Now is the time to be glad our community is safe, and grateful to those that keep us secure, but it is also the time to be quiet, humbled and reflective.  Bloodthirst makes me queasy.

My mom said long ago I could never be a good lawyer because I could never stop seeing the position of both sides at once.  I feel this is still the case.

The biggest problem for me right now is preparing to present new art tomorrow.  I am showing my contributions for the Threading Motion project at the quilt museum tomorrow, and I am feeling so gross about it.  Art is, if anything, a statement every time it happens.  What I am showing tomorrow is done, but it's so soon after so much mental turmoil, it's not AT ALL what I want to open my choreographic mouth to say!  I'd rather keep it shut, I need to process and get past all of these jumbled ridiculous thoughts and happenings, before I make a statement with my work that is misinterpreted (or fluff).  The show must also go on.  Where does my scale balance?

Again, please don't misinterpret my musings, these bombings were WRONG and someone does need to answer for and explain the violence and destruction.  

High as a Kite.

The amount of song/dance in the Oscars tonight is just delightful.  Add that to the serious James Bond presence and Barbra Streisand showstopper performance, and I'm in award show euphoria.  

It also makes me regret missing Anna Karenina in theaters.  I LOVE love love the book, and from what I've seen of trailers the movie looks well done.

Quentin Tarantino is my awkward-but-totally-cool-with-ones-own-awkwardness celebrity counterpart. Pretty sure I, too, have ended a speech with a hearty "peace out".

I am PSYCHED to be coordinating a show that could put several wonderful dancers, my own choreography (and Merli's!), the musical composition talents of my sister and the same talents of a dear high school friend, and our rapidly blooming company... all on one stage.  I need to stop myself from saying any more, it's a bigger concept than anyone might guess and if this thing happens it's going to be SO different and just so great.  Cross your fingers!

I'm big in Sweden.

Not that I track the traffic from this blog often, but apparently only people from Russia and Sweden read this sucker.

Dear Boston friends... weigh in, anytime. (At the very least just creep on my wordage from a discreet anonymous location!)

JJ shared this with me...

... and I will share it with you!

KICKSTARTER!

Hey any random person that might actually read my blog.  Luminarium is doing it's yearly Kickstarter.  This year it's especially important to me!  Two of my dear friends (that are over-the-top supportive of what I do) wish to sustain Luminarium by making a generous donation to the company.  Their challenge was to raise matching funds.  Boom.  Done.  I didn't even have to beg or plead or whine that you help.  Now that we have 14 entire days to go, I ask that you perhaps give the video a watch or share it on your own site or through social media.  2012 Presidential candidates (and local candidates too) can raise millions and millions just to advertise themselves, so let's raise some money for an organization that actual does some good in and for its community.  Watch the video, I did some voice recording just for you.  I will love you forever.