Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dance. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The worst blogger in the world...

Once upon a time I was good at blogging semi regularly. These days not so much. Blame it on the crazy schedule as a freelance artist, the changing seasons, the fact that for once I am intact and in great physically functioning state... whatever! 

Today is Luminarium's fifth birthday and I'm so proud of what Merli and I have done in the past few years- artistically, sustainably, there is an every day need  to keep forging ahead with momentum and vigor in this profession, so every now and then I can clear my head of the daily work and realize what we have actually accomplished. Here's to many more multiples of five years!

The biggest news besides Luminarium turning five today is that very soon I'm breaking ground on my Masters of Fine Arts degree (focusing on Interdisciplinary Arts) at Goddard College. I've wanted an MFA for a long time, not so much for status and letters but for the chance to submerse myself back in process and identity and how who I am is reflected in the art I make. It's been so easy to dismiss going back to school for the sake of time, money, schedule, but the low-residency format of this program allows me to maintain my life as a professional artist at home while also allowing myself to get back in the pool of learning. I'm so looking forward to continued learning, self improvement and an additional new community to join. It's easy to forget that everyone always has more to learn and the ability to grow. 

In choreography land there's lots happening: I showed a snippet of brand new rough work at the Luminarium Gala on Sunday (nerve-wracking but ultimately great), but that deserves its own post. 

Below is a mysterious sneak peek at a second new work I'm starting tonight. (Yes, I managed that tiny amount of sewing all by myself - I'm very handy in every other medium, just lousy with thread!)



Monday, February 16, 2015

Write it down, move forward!

Note:  Apparently since my blog template is so old, I can't use a jump break to shorten this novel.  Since it's mostly for my own brain and the sake of recording various life experiences I apologize for the millions of words.

I disappeared from blog-land from most of 2014 as much of the year was fairly traumatic.

Just over one year ago I decided to finally get to the bottom of some excruciating hip pain.  I can deal with a great amount of discomfort and pain as someone in the dance industry, but it had gone too far even for my pain tolerance.  The first ortho doctor I went to was puzzled. Yes, I'd had snapping hip syndrome and osteoarthritis in said hip for years since a college-era injury, no it wasn't the same pain.  Doc #1 was seriously resistant to declare it anything but a strained hip flexor.  Maybe it was because I walked in with my own theories, but he didn't want to do x-rays or other testing and recommended chiropractic and PT (I added in acupuncture, just for the sake of the experiment). All of the above, many more appointments, thousands of dollars and two cortisone shots later, guess what... no improvement!

Around that point in time I started feeling legitimately crazy, and not ridiculous normal creative/ADHD/zany Kim crazy.  Every time I got into my car and turned the volume up on NPR there seemed to be the same feature on chronic pain for this whole entire week in March. How could something unreal make me writhe in pain (yes, turns out that expression's real) on the couch for 20 minutes until a dose of the nearest pain killer kicked in? I vividly remember Russell staring at me in concern as I left him at the cash register, literally crawling out of a Home Depot into our car because I misjudged the window of time I was covered with medicine. It was bad! Too many times I found myself biting my lip and deep breathing through a rehearsal for one of the musicals I was working on because my medicine time-window was up and I felt far too unprofessional to excuse myself from a rehearsal.. this usually ended in holding a straight face until I shut my car door, and crying and yelling until I could get home and medicated.

After some research and with some additional urging from family and a couple close friends I swapped over the Sports Medicine Department at Children's Hospital.  Finally someone prescribed me a better anti-inflammatory painkiller and ordered an MRI!  Doctor #2 was so wonderful and called me at home with the results once he got to examine them.  The initial diagnosis was that I had a pre-fracture in the neck of my femur and had signs of a labral tear. Gross. After running for several months on Boston streets I wasn't surprised.  The initial goal was to clear it up by no activity, rough, but doable.

Five weeks later, no improvement, it was time for a followup MRI - otherwise known as the entire day I spent bouncing about Longwood scared out of my mind!  After getting into scrubs and trying to keep my toes pointed inwards in the MRI tube for far too long, I expected checking out and hitting Starbucks before my followup to discuss results with Doctor #2.  Instead I got a concerned looking technician asking me to wait in the waiting room, not answering any of my questions but taking the initiative to reschedule my followup appointment until later that afternoon.  I was instructed to pick up a mystery phone with no buttons, where Doctor #2 (from his office across the street) told me they had spotted a mysterious lesion hiding on the underside of my femur neck and could I please come back in two hours to be squeezed in for CT scans? Sure... what else was I going to say?

Around that time I was both trying to distract myself by using every single app I ever downloaded on my iPhone, stupid or not, and frantically texting a handful of people to share my internal freak out.  I killed my fully charged phone battery by 1pm, spent far too much money on a charger at CVS, scowled at a burrito, got two iced coffees (only one caffeinated) and awkwardly cried by myself in my car.  The last of that list is atypical for me, but realize by that point I thought I had some crazy bone tumor that was going to just devour my body whole.

Good news, bad news.  Post CT scans I ran across the street to visit Doctor #2 who was running over 2 hours late only to discover that yes, I had a tumor in the neck of my femur, but also it was completely benign.  Meet the osteoid osteoma... a tricky little bastard that lurks in the long bones, vertebrae and jaw bones of teens and young adults with the sole purpose of causing pain.  Boom.  In the late summer I went to Doctor #3 for a consult for surgery to remove it, and a short time after that I showed up at Beth Israel Deaconess, took off all my jewelry, got hooked up with some crazy drugs, hit the anesthesia, and woke up minus my tiny bony tumor friend, after it had been burned out of my femur bone.  I spent two days confined to oxycodone and the couch, where Russell brought me anything I needed, Merli came over with an activity bag full of presents to open on the hour to cure boredom, and Jenn & Christos showed up for some evening entertainment.  I'm hugely spoiled and lucky to have a great group of people in my life! Fast forward two days, and my mom came to take me out for the day.... and I realized while walking about I was both medicine and PAIN FREE! A couple of weeks later my mom and I were walking the entirety of Manhattan.  I will never forget that feeling of freedom.

Through the rest of 2014 Doctor #2 determined I still had the labral tear in my hip cartilage, but with a lot of attention spent on my muscle imbalances and a few appointments with the WIZARD known as Barry Meklir (Muscular Solutions in Coolidge Coorner - just go!), I was able to cancel the serious surgery planned with Doctor #4. Hard work!

I'll cut short the rest of the saga.  It's February 16, I feel GREAT and I never thought I would get here.  I'm working every single day to strengthen, stretch, workout hard and get everything under control after a year or more of inactivity.  It was a scary, sad and sometimes hopeless year (though marked with many great accomplishments and happenings in the world outside the hip), but it's over and I'm in control!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Something refreshing in dance-film-ville

Here is short film that's been circulating Facebook-land.  Maybe you've seen it already but I wanted to leave it here because I think it's beautiful.  

Often (opinion) dance films are strangely void of, well, dance.  Possibly over half of the dance on camera I seek out seems to be comprised of hand gestures, artistic shots or pedestrian movement, but not a lot of bodies moving in athletic, intricate, choreographed ways.  The other half of the time I find myself watching a dance that has consequently been filmed, as is, for the stage, which doesn't really quality as a dance film.  

The selection below melds beautiful vigorous movement with a solid argument for being a film piece, not live work.  The choreography holds equal weight to the choices made in setting up the shots, the location, the music, the costuming, the editing.  Everything is genuine, intentional, any hand on a body (one's own or the other's) is super deliberate... refreshing.  All of the components are incredibly well balanced and actually deserve to be a semi-narrative film piece that can be categorized as a dance film. 


Valtari- Written & Directed by Christian Larson. Choreography by Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui

Now, is the top removal near the end a bit cliche?  Maybe.  I could very well be sick and tired of people taking off their clothes onstage in dance/theater/perf art, just for the hell of it.  Then again it's kind of nice that the pair of dancers has the naked torso skin-on-skin happening.  Doesn't it feel really lovely to lay your bare back against someone else's?  Yep.  

Also-also, does the warehouse setting remind anyone else of a post-apocalyptic version of the game Portal?

Friday, May 17, 2013

All it Takes... a mental spring bloom

One callback audition with several fantastic dancers, one night full of thought post-audition, and my mind that was full of tentative half formed ideas is working like a beehive full of the world's happiest and buzziest bees.

My brain (probably other people's brains too, but who knows) is a funny place.  I am SO excited to embark on new work, my first 'real' new work since Mythos:Pathos, and my brain is literally chiseling away at four separate ideas all at the same time right now.  Yes, even as I write this blog entry.  My silly head is even trying to spark brand new ideas, outside of the four I am committing to at the start of this project.  I have never said this before, but slow down, thoughts!  I feel very grateful for my never-ending stream of inspiration... if it ever dries up, that'll be the end of me.

I am excited to start sharing some of the specifics and process behind these pieces, but I am going to wait until we have finalized casting and a rehearsal schedule.  Stay tuned, it won't be long ;)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I could do better...

... not NEARLY as juicy as I might've hoped, but interesting.  Link.

Here we go, new inspirations ;)

Friday, April 19, 2013

Life goes on but I'm about to miss the bus...

The only good thing is that the silhouette of the neighbor's cat in their kitchen window is exactly the same, untouched and unaffected. She holds very still and her ears twitch towards things invisible in the dark.

A bit of a preface, disclaimer...
I obviously am horrified that someone would do disgusting violent acts to our city.  I do think that whoever was responsible for the acts needs to be held accountable.  I drove through the city last night, I felt robbed of my personal safety, I've felt tense all week and I was confined to my house all day.  I get how bad of a situation this was.

What I hate is that there are NO positive outcomes to this situation.  Not a single one.  Plenty of innocent people lost their lives, limbs or life as they formerly knew it.  Many more people lost their peace of mind and faith in each other.  At the same time, I can't help looking at this smooth-faced curly-haired guy thats seven years my junior, and feel so sad for him.  Maybe he was of sound mind and so much hatred for Boston that he really wanted to do this.  Just for a minute, though, suppose this was not his idea?  Maybe his brother masterminded it, or he was forced into it from a larger organization that wanted to harm Boston, and he was a pawn. Now, he is the only one left to take the blame.  This guy that crawled into a boat to hide and bleed to death is wished dead and held in such powerful contempt by so many strangers.  To be completely honest, I hope he opens his mouth in a public forum or in court and spews sincere cold hatred for Boston, perhaps that is the only time we will know for certain our community hatred for him is accurately placed.

Then I think about the adorable little boy that got killed, the 20-something girl, the student from China, the young policeman last night...

(I'm not so much doubting he did it, more wondering about the circumstances?)

There is NOTHING that is 'right' here.  Especially not the 'we got him's and death wishes for this man on Facebook.  Now is the time to be glad our community is safe, and grateful to those that keep us secure, but it is also the time to be quiet, humbled and reflective.  Bloodthirst makes me queasy.

My mom said long ago I could never be a good lawyer because I could never stop seeing the position of both sides at once.  I feel this is still the case.

The biggest problem for me right now is preparing to present new art tomorrow.  I am showing my contributions for the Threading Motion project at the quilt museum tomorrow, and I am feeling so gross about it.  Art is, if anything, a statement every time it happens.  What I am showing tomorrow is done, but it's so soon after so much mental turmoil, it's not AT ALL what I want to open my choreographic mouth to say!  I'd rather keep it shut, I need to process and get past all of these jumbled ridiculous thoughts and happenings, before I make a statement with my work that is misinterpreted (or fluff).  The show must also go on.  Where does my scale balance?

Again, please don't misinterpret my musings, these bombings were WRONG and someone does need to answer for and explain the violence and destruction.  

Monday, February 25, 2013

Choreographer Challenges, a contemplation


Had a solid rehearsal today for the musical I am choreographing.  This is my newest challenge as I approached it with a bit of disdain, but now it's a study in professionalism.  Long story short, my gig choreographing Chicago for a group I like working with turned into choreographing Legally Blonde, the musical.  The first is a respected show with integral movement in a style I've lived, breathed and lusted after since I turned double digits.  The second is a newer creation based on a comedic movie (yes, musical based on movie :/) with no grounding idea for movement or really plot/songs etc, with too much time spent milking humor from sorority girl, bro and harvard student stereotypes.  Since I am getting paid well and I do like the group, actors and creative team, it's been a commitment to doing as good of a job as I can with what I am given without letting the animosity towards the show itself grow.

Honestly, I am having laughs in rehearsal and at the end of the day I am enjoying my work on the show.  While the personal success and adrenaline isn't felt watching the story come together and the plot develop while seeing my work sparkle within the greater picture, I am finding feelings of success and happiness through the creation process.  Today I taught a number that involves a crazy assortment of theatre dance, colorguard/drill team movement, body music, African dance, tap and gymnastics (whaaaa?!). We went through it segment by segment, and I tried to be a good teacher in addition to choreographer.  The cast worked hard, they were proud of themselves, and they did a good job with the movement.  Each of these little sections of the bigger number is a success- teaching it, coaching it, finessing it, praising.  Process, not product.  When my dancers in another number are jumping hardcore rope in unison, to music, and feeling confident, that's a success.  

Culminating thought.  Sometimes a choreographer needs to take herself out of the picture.  This is no time for selfish.  I am being paid to do a job I love.  It IS my responsibility to create numbers that work for the show and the bigger picture.  It's my job to teach the performers what they need to know, and to coach them so that they do the movement well on stage.  This IS NOT the job where I invest myself into my work.  Is this something I deem 'my product', care about artistically, put lots of intelligent creation effort into?  No.  More importantly, that's ok.  It's ok not to try to make an artistic masterpiece out of Legally Blonde, the musical.  It's ok to take this project on (ohhhhmygooood she can't possibly be a real-life-modern-dance-artist-creator if she does an especially trivial musical?! say my invisible snarky peers in my head!), and it's ok to talk about it and enjoy it, even if it's truly meaningless, it won't diminish me as an artist (mantra). In fact, perhaps it's impressive that I can be a good choreographer in my own world and simultaneously take on an atypical project and do an equally good job over there in musical theatre land.  

Point of the story.  It's not Chicago, I'll unfortunately have to wait to Fosse it up another day.  I am being paid to choreograph a musical, and even though it's by far not my favorite I owe it to myself, my legitimacy, and the show to do the best job I can with it.  There is NOTHING wrong with choreographing a musical, whatever genre you consider yourself based in.  If you are a creator, create, like what you do, no limits.

Eh?  

Sunday, February 24, 2013

High as a Kite.

The amount of song/dance in the Oscars tonight is just delightful.  Add that to the serious James Bond presence and Barbra Streisand showstopper performance, and I'm in award show euphoria.  

It also makes me regret missing Anna Karenina in theaters.  I LOVE love love the book, and from what I've seen of trailers the movie looks well done.

Quentin Tarantino is my awkward-but-totally-cool-with-ones-own-awkwardness celebrity counterpart. Pretty sure I, too, have ended a speech with a hearty "peace out".

I am PSYCHED to be coordinating a show that could put several wonderful dancers, my own choreography (and Merli's!), the musical composition talents of my sister and the same talents of a dear high school friend, and our rapidly blooming company... all on one stage.  I need to stop myself from saying any more, it's a bigger concept than anyone might guess and if this thing happens it's going to be SO different and just so great.  Cross your fingers!

Monday, November 12, 2012

KICKSTARTER!

Hey any random person that might actually read my blog.  Luminarium is doing it's yearly Kickstarter.  This year it's especially important to me!  Two of my dear friends (that are over-the-top supportive of what I do) wish to sustain Luminarium by making a generous donation to the company.  Their challenge was to raise matching funds.  Boom.  Done.  I didn't even have to beg or plead or whine that you help.  Now that we have 14 entire days to go, I ask that you perhaps give the video a watch or share it on your own site or through social media.  2012 Presidential candidates (and local candidates too) can raise millions and millions just to advertise themselves, so let's raise some money for an organization that actual does some good in and for its community.  Watch the video, I did some voice recording just for you.  I will love you forever.


Friday, October 12, 2012

procrastinating writing with writing?

This has been a weird week, some parts great, some parts gloomy.  All parts freezing cold.  Very Luminarium focused.

It's grant writing season again, and this has made me think about the company a lot (partially cause it's inevitable when writing pages and pages about your work).  2012 was our second full-year, our first real year after the first year.  It by far had our highest highs, our lowest lows, but SO much success.  I've learned about my process, learned about myself as a teacher, and learned even more about running a company.  Maybe most importantly I've been enjoying growing a community of dancers (and collaborators) I love and value for different reasons, and that can work with how I work.  I can realize now that I don't have to settle in who I work with (performers and otherwise), and that it's a disservice to me and my work if I settle.

Integrity.  I spoke on this in the text/conText lecture we did a few weeks back.  In that specific setting I was discussing it solely in reference to creating work.  Unless it's a commission, or you just really owe someone a favor, I feel like work should only be created when there is a reason to create.  I really dislike projects that serve to be purely self-gratifying, abstract for the sole sake of being weird, and also those that are tepid and half-hearted.  I try very hard, if it isn't the root of my motivation already, to find a seed of something human in everything I make.  I like to adopt the stories I explore, connect choreographic story lines with bits and pieces of my life experience, and hope what I make relates equally to whoever views it, in whatever way they find.  I love criticism and discussion about my work, as long as the criticism is rooted in integrity... Constructive comments, if honest, are great because they mean people are watching and taking some interest.

Trust. My process is... well, my process.  It's sometimes very roundabout, sometimes very tough to participate in as a performer.  I know this, but I also know it doesn't work if the people I am working with have no trust in my work.  A lot of my stuff comes together at the last minute, with a lighting idea, with a sound atmosphere, with some other magic... Anyways, I care about the pieces I make and wouldn't put my dancers onstage looking stupid or subpar and it doesn't work if the dancers I am intimately involved with don't believe it.

Future.  Really, if Luminarium keeps going with equal upwards momentum I'll be pleased.  I meaaaaaan, I had my picture on a full page of the Globe this year. Shazaam (yes, being an ass for the sake of being an ass here). Next year (2013) will bring about necessary changes based on what we've learned.  We want bigger shows, more epic venues, more name recognition, and more collaboration.  We want to pay our dancers more to further sustain performing arts in this community (and because they are awesome), and eventually to make a paying career out of what we do.  Through all of this my ultimate goal is to not lose focus or personal integrity, and only make decisions for reasons I value.

Not too hard, right?

For now... back to writing small grants to sustain year 3!  I already want to brag about this season so so so much, but no spoilers yet :(

Monday, September 10, 2012

the parts i love about performance...

Mythos:Pathos went up last weekend... one sold out show, one over-sold show, one mostly filled show.

Let downs:  Severly injured dancer days before the show, only being able to watch from the wings.  The first of these things is unavoidable, worsened when your understudy is already filling in, but not worth extra stress animosity.  Make it work, fix it, or pull the piece.  While I made it work by simple revisions (yes, after building a giant metal urn to also put in silhouette when I thought the dancer could actually just be still in space for the 10 mins), I didn't end up loving the piece this time around, which was a bummer.  Between the last show and this one I had really wanted to revise and improve, tweak lighting and add cohesive ideas, but losing two dancers meant just reteaching and running the piece in the two hours of rehearsal I had between shows.  Oh well, there's time left.

Awesome stuff: Hubris through Icarus through Prometheus. I am really really pleased with the way this chunk has been starting to gel.  There are a few images that are perfect overlays with those that have been stored in my head for months, and some moments where I just find myself watching in the dark with goosebumps.  I could go on and on and on... but I won't.

Anyways, the last paragraph helps illustrate what I love about performance.  I hate performing, most of the time, myself.  Watching dancers that I know as normal people become/embody/give their own life to the characters and such onstage in a piece I have created is so damn rewarding, though.

I'm not in the mood to go on and on... another time!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Exploring Icarus and Learning How to Fly...

ORIGINALLY published on Luminarium's blog, here!

One of many pieces of Icarus art...

When I was younger (I would say much younger, but it would be a lie) I used to search for walls, tree stumps, large rocks… anything I could test myself on by jumping off of.   I loved everything about my strange habit, the nervousness leading up to leaping off an eight-foot retaining wall at my grandmother’s condo complex, the excitement of doing something any reasonable adult would probably not approve, and that crystal clear moment of free-fall before scrambling to land.  Now that I am an adult, and one without a great deal of free time/living in an urban neighborhood (parkour, anyone?), I’ve been remarkably grounded.  I’ve come to terms with this, there are plenty of other ways to get an adrenaline fix, but I think it is a valid link to my interest in the myth of Icarus, and translating that story into a new work for Mythos:Pathos.

Icarus, to seriously summarize, was the son of Daedalus, a craftsman.  Trapped on the island of Crete by King Minos, Daedalus constructed wings of wax and feathers so the two could fly to freedom.  Despite his father’s warnings to follow him and not fly too close to the sun, Icarus breaks from the plan, inevitably flies too close to the sun, and falls to the sea.  Most retellings and discussions of this tale attribute Icarus’ fall to over-ambition or hubris, but I don’t think I agree, at least not with the connotation behind ‘hubris’, or being overly ambitious!  As a storyteller it is my responsibility to represent the myth accurately, but in relating to this character I am opting to present the story (especially causes of Icarus’ extended flight) from my own perspective.  I am very lucky to approach this work as a choreographer, since the tale is indeed movement-based, but more on my movement research in a bit.

Adrenaline Amnesia.  I’m sure this isn’t an original phrase, so I won’t take credit for it, however, it is catchy and concisely sums up my thoughts on and personal connections to Icarus.  It is something, I would hope, most everyone has experienced at one point or another, and often as the result of unheeded advice.  A physical action or not, one does something contrary to advice or a mandate from an authority-figure, experiences the rush, and is much more apt to continue the action and have the advice vanish from the mind.  The obvious examples; sneaking out of high school to do [non-academic activity of choice about town] against parent/teacher rules, a taboo relationship, or physical examples; driving too fast, swimming too deep in the ocean, jumping off high objects (!), various other semi-risky and addictive activities.   It is possible that flight just feels so wonderful and freeing that Icarus keeps flying and flying, not to prove that he can, but because that authoritarian warning has simply dissolved from his mind in the euphoria of the moment?  My dislike of authority decrees is simply a coincidence here, since while I approve of the disregard, it wouldn’t be a conscious choice in this situation, now would it?

I was fortunate enough to get to experiment with both adrenaline amnesia and the physical feel of flying in an indoor skydiving session at SkyVenture NH.  Mark (Icarus performer/fellow adrenaline connoisseur) and I suited up, complete with kneepads, goggles, earplugs and of course a one-piece flight suit and made our way to the flight chamber.  My personal goals were to see if, in fact, I would fall into the 100 mph winds and experience some sort of thought-erasing euphoria, and also to experience how a body suspended in the air actually feels as movement research.  The results varied.  I was very interested to discover how whole-body the physical flying experience was.  As movers, I can say we approached learning how to fly from a different perspective and understanding than the others in our group.  Every slight shift in working muscle groups had the potential to shoot you high into the air, or bring you plummeting down to the metal grid below.  If it was allowed, I could have easily spent an hour playing with the varying effects of slight body movements in the vertical space, I could probably write an entirely separate blog post on this topic. 

Mentally, while there was no magically activated euphoria, there was a huge sense of calm.  As an individual with a mind that’s typically thinking about 5+ different things at once, and also probably 3 irrelevant distracting things in addition to that (attention defi-what?) I found this strange peaceful nothingness that was really quite lovely.  Perhaps it was caused by serious wind rushing past my ears, but also it was the first occurrence in an indefinite amount of time that I was completely separate from the rest of the world.  No verbal communication was possible in the wind tunnel, no iPhones or electronics to use, the wind blocked my ears… I wasn’t even connected to the ground.  For 6 minutes, I was a completely independent-free-floating body suspended in air, and while I didn’t have that stomach-twisting, blood-pumping, heart-racing thrill, I found a sort of break from the world.

Phew!  Does this prove anything I set out to investigate?  Not fully.  However, I’m satisfied with my own Icarus story, as we approach performance, and I am completely content to think about this myth for months to come.  I hope my artistic liberty with Icarus serves to let viewers feel free enough to question the myth, my retelling, and of course to enjoy the piece as a whole.

Friday, June 22, 2012

play it like frank.

I've almost always been into Sinatra.

It started very young, watching Anchors Aweigh countless times as a young kid (though I'm a Gene Kelly gal all the way, sigh), and also other musicals I'd watched and rewatched . It intensified with a foray into jazz (safe-jazz, as I like to call the earlier stuff) at a music camp over the summer, 6th grade?, where Steph and I played in a jazz band as an elective to the core music classes/ensembles.  We had a fiery instructor with a bit of a wonky eye, and he'd just snap 'play it like Frank!' all the time, which didn't have a ton of meaning to the youngsters more concerned with the faction of awkward boy trombone players.  Steph and I, years later, got to see 'Come Fly Away', the full-length Tharp set purely to Sinatra, soon before it closed in NYC.  We are very lucky to have caught it, I think it was so beautiful for just enjoyable/easy to watch (but not simple) dance... Anyways, not in the mood to go on and on, but between music, movies and notoriety, I've always been intrigued.

So, I think because I am reading this (it's REALLY well-written- if anyone wants to borrow) and my allotted recreational brain think-space is therefore currently fascinated by all things life-of-Frank, I did a short combo to some Sinatra tonight. It wasn't really difficult or elaborate, but instead it was just fun and let me toe the line somewhere in the vast greyspace between mod/contemp and jazz/musical theatre.  I didn't even get to the good parts and it felt goooooooood.  So good that I took the long way home, shuffling through the Sinatra selection on my iPod quite loud, with the car windows open, scaring the homeless people scattered along my route.

I rediscovered this guy, forgetting how much I love the song.  I think it's the 'don't you know, you fool' line that does it, I embarrassingly and yet consistently wish I could jump back in time to be serenaded with it... the whole mentality/reality use is fun.

Singers in the past used to really sing their song to you, instead of just the 'i'm checked out and singing through auto-tune cause I'm going to get millions' singers of today.   Tangent, yes, but that's ok because I'm happy with my awkward iPod mixes of Tom Waits, Sinatra, Queen, Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Jack White, Hendrix and the Beach Boys (uh huh, all in one playlist)... even though most people I know refuse to listen to my crazy mixes because they can't stand the random variety.  Sometimes I throw in the Beatles, the Faint, and Gil Scott-Heron... it's like the black hole of playlists.

Semi-pointless entry, but it was a gorgeous sunny day, I've been outside a ton playing in the sun, we got three great new dancers for Mythos:Pathos, I am embarking upon new work, and I have done nothing but what I wanted to do for the past two days.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

dance opinion- trisha brown at the ICA

I was fortunate enough to get a free ticket to go see Trisha Brown Dance Company at the ICA last Friday night (thanks, Merli!) perform Works from 1978-2011.  They danced Foray Forêt, Watermotor, Opal Loop and Les Yeux et l'âme .  Major points for lifting the cyc at the top of the second act to let the audience drool over the view of Boston Harbor and the city skyline- the most beautiful nighttime backdrop!  While I could summarize, and perhaps I will further down the digital page, but what is more present in my current thinking is the huge span of difference between movement and choreography.

Dance, dancing, choreography... So many individuals (perhaps that don't base their career in creating) view these as the same thing, but Friday night's show refreshed my opinion on the WORLD of difference between them.  For example, I enjoy Trisha Brown's movement (as movement)... I enjoy dancing it too.  It straddles this excellent ravine of full-out/total-body physicality and flail; precision in knowing where the physical edge in movement lies without crossing the invisible and millimeter-thin border to sloppy dancing.    Her dancers are such impressive entities themselves, always making her highly active movement look effortless whether they are in the air, doing something demanding of strength, gliding into and out of the floor without so much of an extra gasp, etc.  I can only imagine it would be amazingly easy to misplace ones arms, or have 1 percent too little energy, and the movement would look awful.  I think anyone trying to make a career in dance performance would learn a great deal from Trisha Brown's dancers.

Moving on from my movement quality monologue, in the first and third pieces I became amazingly aware of how great movement doesn't always equal great choreography.  The third piece (Opal Loop- 1980) felt a lot like it could have been tacked onto the end of the first piece (Foray Forêt- 1990) and it could have just been a continuation of the first, if the costumes had been the same.  While I am sure this sounds fairly ignorant (I am well educated- and in dance- I swear!), I felt there was no real 'why' behind the pieces, and I had a difficult time staying focused on the work as an audience member.  I don't need a storyline or a gimmick or a narrative to watch dance, but I at least appreciate seeing some kind of spark of motivation that a choreographer possessed when they were creating.

Foray Forêt opened the show, and featured several dancers in golden costumes (at times giving me a subtle impression of Egyptian garb, at other times space-like) showcasing their great Trisha technique while a marching band roamed the halls of the ICA.  The movement was constant and ever shifting, it did not give my eyes or brain a break as it kept going, going, going.  New dancers were introduced and subtracted, there were fleeting moments of partnering, costume pieces were added in the wings, and we never ever got to be introduced to the roving band.  I could have come to peace with this piece (hahaha), if when the second act opened with Opal Loop I hadn't felt like the entire first half of the piece was identical in choreography to Foray Forêt-- same bodied, ever-shifting movement on a quartet of dancers (two males, two females) wearing four different costumes.  If it was a continuation of the first piece, it would read exactly the same.  After said-first half, however, there was a huge shift where the four dancers began duet work, either with a partner, or removed from their partner but maintaining the visual link of the duet.  I appreciated the break in the constant stream of evolving movement, but as a choreographer I couldn't come up with validation for this huge shift and simplification.  I was frustrated with myself, as I don't think there always needs to be an answer, but to watch these two major pieces with the same issue floating around in my head left me very unresolved.  I saw the shifting and rotating patterns of travel on the stage, dancers making loops and intersections between each other, but I wanted a bit more of a connection or reason.

While I do think Trisha Brown is a huge and important figure in the history and dynamic of the dance world (and there were pieces I appreciated, more on this below), I feel like many choreographers, small and major alike, demonstrate the difference between dance and choreography.  An individual might give the world's best and most satisfying technique class, but this doesn't mean they consistently produce brilliant work on stage.  Another individual might create stunning choreography that appeals to diverse crowds, but might give an awful class.  A movement style might feel wonderful on the body, but look quite inadequate in the stage space.  I am sure my point is obvious without more examples!  Where this led me and my thoughts on Friday night, especially coming off a recent showing of my work and approaching teaching my first open company class, is where I fit in on this scale.  I am satisfied with the quality of my choreography of recent, but how will my class go?  Also, do I really have my own technique, or will only years of work in this industry lead to such a refinement and classification of my movement style?

What was really beautiful in Brown's last piece of the night, Les Yeux et l'âme (2011), was the balance of movement, pauses, partnering, and music.  I didn't realize this piece was a compilation of work she created while restaging Pygmalion recently, but it read as a cohesive work.  With plentiful glimpses of the Trisha Brown movement we all know, there were slower portions where I could sit and enjoy what was happening across the stage and in the various couplings.  Each dancer utilized their physicality, but presented it from a pleasant place.  Each section or phrase seemed to easily roll into the next, and I was engaged and looking forward to where the piece might lead.  Also, Brown worked with the music wonderfully.  There wasn't a focus on matching up the movement and choreography (ala Mark Morris), but they seemed to co-habitate well, occasionally crossing paths but serving more to gently support each other from afar.  As I haven't touched upon it... I also did enjoy Watermotor; an intense and brief solo danced by a man in pale clothing amidst a cool blue puddle of down light.  I think I mostly appreciated it for its overlap with lighting, though I was impressed with the performer's consistency and endurance.

I feel sort of guilty and under-qualified for giving this show such a mediocre review, but I think the program itself didn't help.  I understand Trisha Brown as a choreographer is a post-modern maven and I have seen other pieces she's created (in the more-abstract realm) that work for me and really speak for themselves.  The feel of the show on Friday night was too much of the same, though, for pieces 1-3 before a shift in piece 4... I would be interested to see if a change in repertory presented would create a change in my attitude as a viewer.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Kim's Pick-Me-Up Video Playlist. Volume 1.

Here are my favorite internet videos for a mood reversal (even if temporary) when I am feeling gloomy or sad....

Boom King...
This is my go-to.  It appeals to my immature sense of humor, and is just genius.  I am MADLY in love with these guys.  Whoever decided no more Flight of the Conchords sucks majorly.

BEST (not worst) music video ever...
Tim Early's January repertory piece...2007... or maybe 2008?  Just watch.  It needs no words...

Baryshnikov... Tharp... Wild Abandon... What more does one need?
This is dance comfort food... Beautiful out of control looking, yet completely in control, I love love love it.

Note:  These are all wonderful procrastination tactics.  More to follow...

post-weekend whatever.

This weekend was a weird emotion sandwich.  I stayed home from Tobin on Friday, mainly because I hadn't cried yet and was nervous about when it would strike... I didn't want to break down at work.  I distracted myself with crazy cleaning, packing for Fringe, shopping, caffeinating... and the like.

Saturday and Sunday were amazing.  While Merli summed it up so wonderfully, I won't recap- but check out her narrative of the weekend.  It was full of art, silliness, support, AMAZING weather, and lots of love and fun.  Sidenote: I am not destined to be a pool shark, but I plan on practicing, perhaps improving my game beyond default wins and unintentional trick shots...  Stayed up until like 5am with Christin/Merli/Mark/Matt, and then even later with Merli (more chatting and then jumping into and on our beds).  I have such a great dance company/family, this has grown into something beyond dancers and choreographers and I am lucky.

My mom/Jenn/Christos came to the show on Sunday.  I knew I was inevitably going to break down when I saw them, as I hadn't seen any of my family members since I got the news, so I made them come in early.  Weirdly I didn't totally lose it until they left to go get dinner, and I found myself grieving inside a temple.  Go figure.  Good thing for the dark shades, even though I looked like a jerk walking around with them on.  Alan wouldn't have liked my outward display of emotion.... Just like he didn't like, oh, everything?

I showed my new piece twice this weekend, of course with Merli's fun new piece and other greatest-hits too, and it was received as I hoped it would be.  While our performance spaces were nutty and backwards and disorganized, the show went well on both nights.  The experience made me even more excited to show it in November (4-5, 8 pm, green st studios) in a dark and deep theatre space.  I'm nervous for Mobius on Oct 21, as I just found out its a very skinny and longish space.  We'll see...

While I want to get down to discussing my new work in a blog post, I don't have the time to do it justice.  Keep your eyes peeled.  What I will say now, is that it depends so majorly on the dancers (what is emotionally portrayed or restrained, and their connections) and their performance quality made some serious magic happen on Sunday night.  I remember sitting in the dark with my silly clamp light in my lap, watching and lighting, tears flowing down my face, and trying both suavely and frantically to wipe them away as the dancers got close to the downstage region, so they wouldn't see me awkwardly in the darkness.

I absolutely love being a creator, wouldn't ever ever want it any other way.  I am very grateful that I was able to take a big risk, that I have a great partner, and that there are so many supporters that are making our org flourish.

So now we are in a new week...

Monday I crashed, cried, enjoyed my puppy and the weather, and regained my composure.

Yesterday I went to work, and had one of the first successes I've had in the arts at Tobin.  The kids have been a hard sell on performing mediums, but I had a good sized group of girls trust me enough to do some theatre, and they had a great time.  At the end of the day I got word of some interest in dance...

This week is grant-mania.  Merli and I have 5 grants due this week, and a CRAZY project in mind.  Wish us luck... We also have a bunch due over November and December.  While we only have a year behind our belts, it was such a solid year.  2 self-produced performances, a statewide tour, invitations to perform in multiple fundraisers and festivals, a Boston Center for the Arts performance, invite to be guest lecturers at a MHC arts talk, a gala, a community outreach project... now a Mobius performance next week.  We have no intention on losing momentum!

So that's life.... and non-life.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Where'd everyone go??

So here I am... three days into my two week break between jobs.

Life is so strangely empty, but in an ok way.  There are no crazy little kids running around causing chaos, no awful commuting through the city.  It's just me, the dog and the house.

I am excited to have the time to actually get stuff done.  There are doors to paint, trim to prime and paint, and my mountain range of clothes on the third floor to finally finally organize.  I cleaned out 5 moving boxes yesterday!  Finally!  Also, Operation Shoe-Racki Freedom has been completed.  So. Many. Shoes.  So glad to have them all back though, I've been wearing the same pairs over and over again.

More importantly (before this blog gets super boring) our Luminarium Sponsor Benefit Gala is this Sunday!!!!

We are so excited to celebrate our one-year anniversary and get to reflect on the amazing strides we've taken in the past year.  It's crazy to look back on, a blog post about that will I'm sure follow in the next couple of days.

If the weather holds out we are going to work with the amazing photographer Jordan Matter this afternoon.    We are going to participate in Dancers Among Us, a national photo project showcasing the likes of Mark Morris dancers, ABT dancers, American Rep Ballet dancers, So You Think You Can Dance dancers... amazing beautiful professional dancers... and us!!!  This excites me to no end.  We have been such a legitimate entity as a dance company recently... I'm just very proud and also so tickled inside!

Anyways, yes.  Fighting off boredom one paint job at a time.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Tear jerkerrrrr....

I just found myself totally in tears like a total sap over that performance that Memphis did on the Tonys.

(Back story, a group of underprivileged kiddos got the chance to attend a performance of memphis on broadway, and learned the closing number so they could pop up and sing and dance along and totally surprise the cast as they performed it onstage themselves! Tonight on the Tonys the cast performed the number, and all the kids came out to dance it at the end!)

The cute little overwhelmed and beyond ecstatic faces of the kids that came out to perform with the cast beyond reminded me of my own kids at JBGC, and just got me more upset about leaving them on Thursday.  While I know I am making the right decision to make a change in my career, and move on to new things, I cannot help but be totally sad about the number of kids I have become close with.

At some point in that first week of work, back in 2009 after graduating MHC I found myself looking into a then-7 year old's round brown eyes while they asked me "you'll never leave us... right?".  At that point I thought to myself 'ohhhh damn, this is going to be incredibly hard to leave if I need to in the future', but I could never have guessed how hard that would, in fact, be.  In the past 2 years I have met hundreds of kids of all ages, have had them slowly come to trust me and to enjoy dance and theatre classes.  I've had kids confide completely in me about their completely screwed up family lives/at home situations, I've had them laugh and cry and bounce back again in classes... I've really just had the chance to become so close to these innocent little kids that have had the shittiest luck in life/the short straw pulled for them, and now I am walking away.

When I told kids I was leaving early last week there were some freakouts, some tears, some tears that were gruffly wiped away and attested to allergies or something in the eye, and many many questions.  One little girl that I've watched grow up a good deal and have some INTENSE ups and downs with got in my face and yelled "you're SUPPOSED to stay here until you DIE... because I love you and dance will suck without you here!"... I didn't have anything to say, I just looked at her and felt awful and knew I had to do what I was doing, but just felt so dead and cold inside that I couldn't give her a reason or reassurance or anything.

I try to validate this situation by reasoning that you really can't just stay somewhere because you love the kids, if there is more than just the kids to consider, and if there are other great opportunities waiting.  I try to validate by viewing myself as a Mary Poppins of sorts, and crossing my fingers that there will be someone great waiting in the wings that can swoop in to my abandoned kiddos and win their hearts quickly so they will fall in love with their new teacher and forget all about me.

ARHIUWOFJNLS.


Ok, so then the Tony's have to go and play 'somewhere' from WSS, and that ALWAYS gets me emotional.   Back in the day when Bob (childhood dance studio owner's husband and huge presence in the studio and in my life) passed away, we all went back to the studio after the funeral and danced and danced and danced for Bob...  Anyways, we were doing West Side Story that year, and so every time I hear 'somewhere' it just makes me think about dancing to it after that funeral in my black dress clothes and tights with the other emotionally overwhelmed girls I danced with, and not being able to process a loss like that in any other means than dance.  This was a beautiful moment, in retrospect, but we're already coming off the heels of the kid showcase meltdown... so I'm an easy sob victim.


I WILL GET PAST THIS.  There are a million more kids in the world that don't have anything in the world, and someday maybe I can work with them and provide them a little glimmer of something special to hold onto.  Someday, someday, someday.

For now, tissues!