motivational self speech #35524938

A(nother) missed moment today... quiet-me gets too caught up in observation and 'seeing what will happen'.  It's sometimes hard to take my certainty as an artist out of the studio/my head/thoughts and into real life, relationships, another-gimmicky-r-word-i-am-too-tired-to-think-of... but hey- there are no mistakes, only opportunities, adventures, excitement.  Forge ahead.

Word play

18 of my Newest Favorite Words...

books, thoughts, not-much-else

As I was book binging/window shopping on both Barnes&Noble and the Boston Public Library websites, I realized that I've gone through at least 25 books already this year.  Having the nook app on my iPhone certainly helps, but it seems that confining my reading time to late-late nights and time spent travelling places does nothing to deter my rate of books consumed.  On the hierarchy of life priorities, it seems sleep still takes last place.  Then again I can expect answered text messages sent to my gramma at 2am, so perhaps the whole genetics/skipping generations thing holds some weight.

This weekend I got to see my lovely friend Kelsey, who was spontaneously in from Peru, attended my first board meeting at the Armory (as a member of said board), and caught American Repertory Theater's closing performance of Glass Menagerie.

I can't even begin to summarize the thoughts exploding from all of this, in this exact moment/blog entry, and might never get back around to it.. we will see.

Notation fail.

What am I DOING??

WHAT am I doing??

WHAT am I DOING??

Not sure how I want to say this to myself right now, and then where do the eye rolls and huffy sighs work in?

Sitting on my living room floor in pajama pants and the shirt I wore to work eating sugar free jello (that I didn't want to eat cause I don't eat artificial sweeteners) with my fingers.

Home alone till Thursday! I'm an adult, I swear.

Choreographer Challenges, a contemplation

Had a solid rehearsal today for the musical I am choreographing.  This is my newest challenge as I approached it with a bit of disdain, but now it's a study in professionalism.  Long story short, my gig choreographing Chicago for a group I like working with turned into choreographing Legally Blonde, the musical.  The first is a respected show with integral movement in a style I've lived, breathed and lusted after since I turned double digits.  The second is a newer creation based on a comedic movie (yes, musical based on movie :/) with no grounding idea for movement or really plot/songs etc, with too much time spent milking humor from sorority girl, bro and harvard student stereotypes.  Since I am getting paid well and I do like the group, actors and creative team, it's been a commitment to doing as good of a job as I can with what I am given without letting the animosity towards the show itself grow.

Honestly, I am having laughs in rehearsal and at the end of the day I am enjoying my work on the show.  While the personal success and adrenaline isn't felt watching the story come together and the plot develop while seeing my work sparkle within the greater picture, I am finding feelings of success and happiness through the creation process.  Today I taught a number that involves a crazy assortment of theatre dance, colorguard/drill team movement, body music, African dance, tap and gymnastics (whaaaa?!). We went through it segment by segment, and I tried to be a good teacher in addition to choreographer.  The cast worked hard, they were proud of themselves, and they did a good job with the movement.  Each of these little sections of the bigger number is a success- teaching it, coaching it, finessing it, praising.  Process, not product.  When my dancers in another number are jumping hardcore rope in unison, to music, and feeling confident, that's a success.  

Culminating thought.  Sometimes a choreographer needs to take herself out of the picture.  This is no time for selfish.  I am being paid to do a job I love.  It IS my responsibility to create numbers that work for the show and the bigger picture.  It's my job to teach the performers what they need to know, and to coach them so that they do the movement well on stage.  This IS NOT the job where I invest myself into my work.  Is this something I deem 'my product', care about artistically, put lots of intelligent creation effort into?  No.  More importantly, that's ok.  It's ok not to try to make an artistic masterpiece out of Legally Blonde, the musical.  It's ok to take this project on (ohhhhmygooood she can't possibly be a real-life-modern-dance-artist-creator if she does an especially trivial musical?! say my invisible snarky peers in my head!), and it's ok to talk about it and enjoy it, even if it's truly meaningless, it won't diminish me as an artist (mantra). In fact, perhaps it's impressive that I can be a good choreographer in my own world and simultaneously take on an atypical project and do an equally good job over there in musical theatre land.  

Point of the story.  It's not Chicago, I'll unfortunately have to wait to Fosse it up another day.  I am being paid to choreograph a musical, and even though it's by far not my favorite I owe it to myself, my legitimacy, and the show to do the best job I can with it.  There is NOTHING wrong with choreographing a musical, whatever genre you consider yourself based in.  If you are a creator, create, like what you do, no limits.

Eh?  

High as a Kite.

The amount of song/dance in the Oscars tonight is just delightful.  Add that to the serious James Bond presence and Barbra Streisand showstopper performance, and I'm in award show euphoria.  

It also makes me regret missing Anna Karenina in theaters.  I LOVE love love the book, and from what I've seen of trailers the movie looks well done.

Quentin Tarantino is my awkward-but-totally-cool-with-ones-own-awkwardness celebrity counterpart. Pretty sure I, too, have ended a speech with a hearty "peace out".

I am PSYCHED to be coordinating a show that could put several wonderful dancers, my own choreography (and Merli's!), the musical composition talents of my sister and the same talents of a dear high school friend, and our rapidly blooming company... all on one stage.  I need to stop myself from saying any more, it's a bigger concept than anyone might guess and if this thing happens it's going to be SO different and just so great.  Cross your fingers!