Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Kim's Pick-Me-Up Video Playlist. Volume 2.
Come come... on the kick drum
This clip cracks me up. I didn't especially love the movie (The Breakup - Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, what you would expect...) but this is guaranteed to get a giggle out of me, if not full blown laughter. I would love to be friends with John Michael Higgins...
Gilly!
This link should be called anything Kristen-Wiig, for that matter. I can't decide whether I like this just because its humorous, or because I smiled like Gilly for many of my elementary school years. Unfortunate, but funny.
Blazing Saddles...
This selection beat out both the 'shit load of dimes' and also the fart scene among any other worthy choices from this film. I'm worried what this blog entry says about my sense of humor... don't judge.
Not a video link, but...
This happens to be my favorite (perhaps) Mark Morris piece. A section of Dogtown set to Yoko Ono's 'No, no, no'. You won't get it until you see it, but for some reason I can't help but think its genius. Could it be the Jim Coleman version my college choreography class was treated to?
This clip cracks me up. I didn't especially love the movie (The Breakup - Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, what you would expect...) but this is guaranteed to get a giggle out of me, if not full blown laughter. I would love to be friends with John Michael Higgins...
Gilly!
This link should be called anything Kristen-Wiig, for that matter. I can't decide whether I like this just because its humorous, or because I smiled like Gilly for many of my elementary school years. Unfortunate, but funny.
Blazing Saddles...
This selection beat out both the 'shit load of dimes' and also the fart scene among any other worthy choices from this film. I'm worried what this blog entry says about my sense of humor... don't judge.
Not a video link, but...
This happens to be my favorite (perhaps) Mark Morris piece. A section of Dogtown set to Yoko Ono's 'No, no, no'. You won't get it until you see it, but for some reason I can't help but think its genius. Could it be the Jim Coleman version my college choreography class was treated to?
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
workworkwork
Being a creator is damn tough.
Being an overacheiving artist that cannot seem to say no to anything because who knows what it can turn into is even tougher.
The minute I get inspired or start building visions in my head it's all over and I get sucked in!
I love it and it's wonderfully stressful and all consuming and then I say I'm never going to do it again, and then BAM what do you know guess what I'm doing again.
In the process I'm in love with the project though, and it's hard to make sure I don't abandon my home/life/family in the midst.
This doesn't really apply to Luminarium stuff, I'm pretty much always in love with Lumiarium work and feel justified and productive and happy and never regretful. That feels good, at least!
Being an overacheiving artist that cannot seem to say no to anything because who knows what it can turn into is even tougher.
The minute I get inspired or start building visions in my head it's all over and I get sucked in!
I love it and it's wonderfully stressful and all consuming and then I say I'm never going to do it again, and then BAM what do you know guess what I'm doing again.
In the process I'm in love with the project though, and it's hard to make sure I don't abandon my home/life/family in the midst.
This doesn't really apply to Luminarium stuff, I'm pretty much always in love with Lumiarium work and feel justified and productive and happy and never regretful. That feels good, at least!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
dance opinion- trisha brown at the ICA
I was fortunate enough to get a free ticket to go see Trisha Brown Dance Company at the ICA last Friday night (thanks, Merli!) perform Works from 1978-2011. They danced Foray Forêt, Watermotor, Opal Loop and Les Yeux et l'âme . Major points for lifting the cyc at the top of the second act to let the audience drool over the view of Boston Harbor and the city skyline- the most beautiful nighttime backdrop! While I could summarize, and perhaps I will further down the digital page, but what is more present in my current thinking is the huge span of difference between movement and choreography.
Dance, dancing, choreography... So many individuals (perhaps that don't base their career in creating) view these as the same thing, but Friday night's show refreshed my opinion on the WORLD of difference between them. For example, I enjoy Trisha Brown's movement (as movement)... I enjoy dancing it too. It straddles this excellent ravine of full-out/total-body physicality and flail; precision in knowing where the physical edge in movement lies without crossing the invisible and millimeter-thin border to sloppy dancing. Her dancers are such impressive entities themselves, always making her highly active movement look effortless whether they are in the air, doing something demanding of strength, gliding into and out of the floor without so much of an extra gasp, etc. I can only imagine it would be amazingly easy to misplace ones arms, or have 1 percent too little energy, and the movement would look awful. I think anyone trying to make a career in dance performance would learn a great deal from Trisha Brown's dancers.
Moving on from my movement quality monologue, in the first and third pieces I became amazingly aware of how great movement doesn't always equal great choreography. The third piece (Opal Loop- 1980) felt a lot like it could have been tacked onto the end of the first piece (Foray Forêt- 1990) and it could have just been a continuation of the first, if the costumes had been the same. While I am sure this sounds fairly ignorant (I am well educated- and in dance- I swear!), I felt there was no real 'why' behind the pieces, and I had a difficult time staying focused on the work as an audience member. I don't need a storyline or a gimmick or a narrative to watch dance, but I at least appreciate seeing some kind of spark of motivation that a choreographer possessed when they were creating.
Foray Forêt opened the show, and featured several dancers in golden costumes (at times giving me a subtle impression of Egyptian garb, at other times space-like) showcasing their great Trisha technique while a marching band roamed the halls of the ICA. The movement was constant and ever shifting, it did not give my eyes or brain a break as it kept going, going, going. New dancers were introduced and subtracted, there were fleeting moments of partnering, costume pieces were added in the wings, and we never ever got to be introduced to the roving band. I could have come to peace with this piece (hahaha), if when the second act opened with Opal Loop I hadn't felt like the entire first half of the piece was identical in choreography to Foray Forêt-- same bodied, ever-shifting movement on a quartet of dancers (two males, two females) wearing four different costumes. If it was a continuation of the first piece, it would read exactly the same. After said-first half, however, there was a huge shift where the four dancers began duet work, either with a partner, or removed from their partner but maintaining the visual link of the duet. I appreciated the break in the constant stream of evolving movement, but as a choreographer I couldn't come up with validation for this huge shift and simplification. I was frustrated with myself, as I don't think there always needs to be an answer, but to watch these two major pieces with the same issue floating around in my head left me very unresolved. I saw the shifting and rotating patterns of travel on the stage, dancers making loops and intersections between each other, but I wanted a bit more of a connection or reason.
While I do think Trisha Brown is a huge and important figure in the history and dynamic of the dance world (and there were pieces I appreciated, more on this below), I feel like many choreographers, small and major alike, demonstrate the difference between dance and choreography. An individual might give the world's best and most satisfying technique class, but this doesn't mean they consistently produce brilliant work on stage. Another individual might create stunning choreography that appeals to diverse crowds, but might give an awful class. A movement style might feel wonderful on the body, but look quite inadequate in the stage space. I am sure my point is obvious without more examples! Where this led me and my thoughts on Friday night, especially coming off a recent showing of my work and approaching teaching my first open company class, is where I fit in on this scale. I am satisfied with the quality of my choreography of recent, but how will my class go? Also, do I really have my own technique, or will only years of work in this industry lead to such a refinement and classification of my movement style?
What was really beautiful in Brown's last piece of the night, Les Yeux et l'âme (2011), was the balance of movement, pauses, partnering, and music. I didn't realize this piece was a compilation of work she created while restaging Pygmalion recently, but it read as a cohesive work. With plentiful glimpses of the Trisha Brown movement we all know, there were slower portions where I could sit and enjoy what was happening across the stage and in the various couplings. Each dancer utilized their physicality, but presented it from a pleasant place. Each section or phrase seemed to easily roll into the next, and I was engaged and looking forward to where the piece might lead. Also, Brown worked with the music wonderfully. There wasn't a focus on matching up the movement and choreography (ala Mark Morris), but they seemed to co-habitate well, occasionally crossing paths but serving more to gently support each other from afar. As I haven't touched upon it... I also did enjoy Watermotor; an intense and brief solo danced by a man in pale clothing amidst a cool blue puddle of down light. I think I mostly appreciated it for its overlap with lighting, though I was impressed with the performer's consistency and endurance.
I feel sort of guilty and under-qualified for giving this show such a mediocre review, but I think the program itself didn't help. I understand Trisha Brown as a choreographer is a post-modern maven and I have seen other pieces she's created (in the more-abstract realm) that work for me and really speak for themselves. The feel of the show on Friday night was too much of the same, though, for pieces 1-3 before a shift in piece 4... I would be interested to see if a change in repertory presented would create a change in my attitude as a viewer.
Dance, dancing, choreography... So many individuals (perhaps that don't base their career in creating) view these as the same thing, but Friday night's show refreshed my opinion on the WORLD of difference between them. For example, I enjoy Trisha Brown's movement (as movement)... I enjoy dancing it too. It straddles this excellent ravine of full-out/total-body physicality and flail; precision in knowing where the physical edge in movement lies without crossing the invisible and millimeter-thin border to sloppy dancing. Her dancers are such impressive entities themselves, always making her highly active movement look effortless whether they are in the air, doing something demanding of strength, gliding into and out of the floor without so much of an extra gasp, etc. I can only imagine it would be amazingly easy to misplace ones arms, or have 1 percent too little energy, and the movement would look awful. I think anyone trying to make a career in dance performance would learn a great deal from Trisha Brown's dancers.
Moving on from my movement quality monologue, in the first and third pieces I became amazingly aware of how great movement doesn't always equal great choreography. The third piece (Opal Loop- 1980) felt a lot like it could have been tacked onto the end of the first piece (Foray Forêt- 1990) and it could have just been a continuation of the first, if the costumes had been the same. While I am sure this sounds fairly ignorant (I am well educated- and in dance- I swear!), I felt there was no real 'why' behind the pieces, and I had a difficult time staying focused on the work as an audience member. I don't need a storyline or a gimmick or a narrative to watch dance, but I at least appreciate seeing some kind of spark of motivation that a choreographer possessed when they were creating.
Foray Forêt opened the show, and featured several dancers in golden costumes (at times giving me a subtle impression of Egyptian garb, at other times space-like) showcasing their great Trisha technique while a marching band roamed the halls of the ICA. The movement was constant and ever shifting, it did not give my eyes or brain a break as it kept going, going, going. New dancers were introduced and subtracted, there were fleeting moments of partnering, costume pieces were added in the wings, and we never ever got to be introduced to the roving band. I could have come to peace with this piece (hahaha), if when the second act opened with Opal Loop I hadn't felt like the entire first half of the piece was identical in choreography to Foray Forêt-- same bodied, ever-shifting movement on a quartet of dancers (two males, two females) wearing four different costumes. If it was a continuation of the first piece, it would read exactly the same. After said-first half, however, there was a huge shift where the four dancers began duet work, either with a partner, or removed from their partner but maintaining the visual link of the duet. I appreciated the break in the constant stream of evolving movement, but as a choreographer I couldn't come up with validation for this huge shift and simplification. I was frustrated with myself, as I don't think there always needs to be an answer, but to watch these two major pieces with the same issue floating around in my head left me very unresolved. I saw the shifting and rotating patterns of travel on the stage, dancers making loops and intersections between each other, but I wanted a bit more of a connection or reason.
While I do think Trisha Brown is a huge and important figure in the history and dynamic of the dance world (and there were pieces I appreciated, more on this below), I feel like many choreographers, small and major alike, demonstrate the difference between dance and choreography. An individual might give the world's best and most satisfying technique class, but this doesn't mean they consistently produce brilliant work on stage. Another individual might create stunning choreography that appeals to diverse crowds, but might give an awful class. A movement style might feel wonderful on the body, but look quite inadequate in the stage space. I am sure my point is obvious without more examples! Where this led me and my thoughts on Friday night, especially coming off a recent showing of my work and approaching teaching my first open company class, is where I fit in on this scale. I am satisfied with the quality of my choreography of recent, but how will my class go? Also, do I really have my own technique, or will only years of work in this industry lead to such a refinement and classification of my movement style?
What was really beautiful in Brown's last piece of the night, Les Yeux et l'âme (2011), was the balance of movement, pauses, partnering, and music. I didn't realize this piece was a compilation of work she created while restaging Pygmalion recently, but it read as a cohesive work. With plentiful glimpses of the Trisha Brown movement we all know, there were slower portions where I could sit and enjoy what was happening across the stage and in the various couplings. Each dancer utilized their physicality, but presented it from a pleasant place. Each section or phrase seemed to easily roll into the next, and I was engaged and looking forward to where the piece might lead. Also, Brown worked with the music wonderfully. There wasn't a focus on matching up the movement and choreography (ala Mark Morris), but they seemed to co-habitate well, occasionally crossing paths but serving more to gently support each other from afar. As I haven't touched upon it... I also did enjoy Watermotor; an intense and brief solo danced by a man in pale clothing amidst a cool blue puddle of down light. I think I mostly appreciated it for its overlap with lighting, though I was impressed with the performer's consistency and endurance.
I feel sort of guilty and under-qualified for giving this show such a mediocre review, but I think the program itself didn't help. I understand Trisha Brown as a choreographer is a post-modern maven and I have seen other pieces she's created (in the more-abstract realm) that work for me and really speak for themselves. The feel of the show on Friday night was too much of the same, though, for pieces 1-3 before a shift in piece 4... I would be interested to see if a change in repertory presented would create a change in my attitude as a viewer.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Hi, Real Life!
June to present has been a whirlwind... interviewing for/leaving and entering multiple jobs, spending a lot of time with my dying grampa, creating a new piece, yet another new job, performing/teching/insanity/fun at Seacoast Fringe Festival, funeral, auditioning dancers, shooting weddings, revamping aforementioned piece to be performed at Mobius, rehearsals, growing work hours, writing 5 grants with Merli and (oh yeah) remodeling our house, I've been gradually falling more and more behind. Oh right... and running out of Ritalin like 3 weeks ago when I fired my psychiatrist.
But all that has changed!
After shooting a wedding on Saturday I spent the weekend on the Cape, and it was just relaxing and easy and perfect. We drove around, spent time at the beach on a beautiful day, enjoyed my Gramma and Twyla's birthdays, and just did not too much of anything. Perfect!
Today I've had time to clean, rearrange my office furniture and set up the iMac, put away lots of laundry, and catch up on Luminarium work and COGdesign work, and I am feeling just so much better.
Now I'm onto producing an AMAZING show for Luminarium's end of 2011 season, becoming a 501 c3 (any day now...), catching up on car appointments/health appointments, fundraising, painting my front door, and applying for MORE grants. Soon I will be caught up on life...
This entry has zero purpose, just wanted to chronicle the feel-good vibes.
But all that has changed!
After shooting a wedding on Saturday I spent the weekend on the Cape, and it was just relaxing and easy and perfect. We drove around, spent time at the beach on a beautiful day, enjoyed my Gramma and Twyla's birthdays, and just did not too much of anything. Perfect!
Today I've had time to clean, rearrange my office furniture and set up the iMac, put away lots of laundry, and catch up on Luminarium work and COGdesign work, and I am feeling just so much better.
Now I'm onto producing an AMAZING show for Luminarium's end of 2011 season, becoming a 501 c3 (any day now...), catching up on car appointments/health appointments, fundraising, painting my front door, and applying for MORE grants. Soon I will be caught up on life...
This entry has zero purpose, just wanted to chronicle the feel-good vibes.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Kim's Pick-Me-Up Video Playlist. Volume 1.
Here are my favorite internet videos for a mood reversal (even if temporary) when I am feeling gloomy or sad....
Boom King...
This is my go-to. It appeals to my immature sense of humor, and is just genius. I am MADLY in love with these guys. Whoever decided no more Flight of the Conchords sucks majorly.
BEST (not worst) music video ever...
Tim Early's January repertory piece...2007... or maybe 2008? Just watch. It needs no words...
Baryshnikov... Tharp... Wild Abandon... What more does one need?
This is dance comfort food... Beautiful out of control looking, yet completely in control, I love love love it.
Note: These are all wonderful procrastination tactics. More to follow...
Boom King...
This is my go-to. It appeals to my immature sense of humor, and is just genius. I am MADLY in love with these guys. Whoever decided no more Flight of the Conchords sucks majorly.
BEST (not worst) music video ever...
Tim Early's January repertory piece...2007... or maybe 2008? Just watch. It needs no words...
Baryshnikov... Tharp... Wild Abandon... What more does one need?
This is dance comfort food... Beautiful out of control looking, yet completely in control, I love love love it.
Note: These are all wonderful procrastination tactics. More to follow...
post-weekend whatever.
This weekend was a weird emotion sandwich. I stayed home from Tobin on Friday, mainly because I hadn't cried yet and was nervous about when it would strike... I didn't want to break down at work. I distracted myself with crazy cleaning, packing for Fringe, shopping, caffeinating... and the like.
Saturday and Sunday were amazing. While Merli summed it up so wonderfully, I won't recap- but check out her narrative of the weekend. It was full of art, silliness, support, AMAZING weather, and lots of love and fun. Sidenote: I am not destined to be a pool shark, but I plan on practicing, perhaps improving my game beyond default wins and unintentional trick shots... Stayed up until like 5am with Christin/Merli/Mark/Matt, and then even later with Merli (more chatting and then jumping into and on our beds). I have such a great dance company/family, this has grown into something beyond dancers and choreographers and I am lucky.
My mom/Jenn/Christos came to the show on Sunday. I knew I was inevitably going to break down when I saw them, as I hadn't seen any of my family members since I got the news, so I made them come in early. Weirdly I didn't totally lose it until they left to go get dinner, and I found myself grieving inside a temple. Go figure. Good thing for the dark shades, even though I looked like a jerk walking around with them on. Alan wouldn't have liked my outward display of emotion.... Just like he didn't like, oh, everything?
I showed my new piece twice this weekend, of course with Merli's fun new piece and other greatest-hits too, and it was received as I hoped it would be. While our performance spaces were nutty and backwards and disorganized, the show went well on both nights. The experience made me even more excited to show it in November (4-5, 8 pm, green st studios) in a dark and deep theatre space. I'm nervous for Mobius on Oct 21, as I just found out its a very skinny and longish space. We'll see...
While I want to get down to discussing my new work in a blog post, I don't have the time to do it justice. Keep your eyes peeled. What I will say now, is that it depends so majorly on the dancers (what is emotionally portrayed or restrained, and their connections) and their performance quality made some serious magic happen on Sunday night. I remember sitting in the dark with my silly clamp light in my lap, watching and lighting, tears flowing down my face, and trying both suavely and frantically to wipe them away as the dancers got close to the downstage region, so they wouldn't see me awkwardly in the darkness.
I absolutely love being a creator, wouldn't ever ever want it any other way. I am very grateful that I was able to take a big risk, that I have a great partner, and that there are so many supporters that are making our org flourish.
So now we are in a new week...
Monday I crashed, cried, enjoyed my puppy and the weather, and regained my composure.
Yesterday I went to work, and had one of the first successes I've had in the arts at Tobin. The kids have been a hard sell on performing mediums, but I had a good sized group of girls trust me enough to do some theatre, and they had a great time. At the end of the day I got word of some interest in dance...
This week is grant-mania. Merli and I have 5 grants due this week, and a CRAZY project in mind. Wish us luck... We also have a bunch due over November and December. While we only have a year behind our belts, it was such a solid year. 2 self-produced performances, a statewide tour, invitations to perform in multiple fundraisers and festivals, a Boston Center for the Arts performance, invite to be guest lecturers at a MHC arts talk, a gala, a community outreach project... now a Mobius performance next week. We have no intention on losing momentum!
So that's life.... and non-life.
Saturday and Sunday were amazing. While Merli summed it up so wonderfully, I won't recap- but check out her narrative of the weekend. It was full of art, silliness, support, AMAZING weather, and lots of love and fun. Sidenote: I am not destined to be a pool shark, but I plan on practicing, perhaps improving my game beyond default wins and unintentional trick shots... Stayed up until like 5am with Christin/Merli/Mark/Matt, and then even later with Merli (more chatting and then jumping into and on our beds). I have such a great dance company/family, this has grown into something beyond dancers and choreographers and I am lucky.
My mom/Jenn/Christos came to the show on Sunday. I knew I was inevitably going to break down when I saw them, as I hadn't seen any of my family members since I got the news, so I made them come in early. Weirdly I didn't totally lose it until they left to go get dinner, and I found myself grieving inside a temple. Go figure. Good thing for the dark shades, even though I looked like a jerk walking around with them on. Alan wouldn't have liked my outward display of emotion.... Just like he didn't like, oh, everything?
I showed my new piece twice this weekend, of course with Merli's fun new piece and other greatest-hits too, and it was received as I hoped it would be. While our performance spaces were nutty and backwards and disorganized, the show went well on both nights. The experience made me even more excited to show it in November (4-5, 8 pm, green st studios) in a dark and deep theatre space. I'm nervous for Mobius on Oct 21, as I just found out its a very skinny and longish space. We'll see...
While I want to get down to discussing my new work in a blog post, I don't have the time to do it justice. Keep your eyes peeled. What I will say now, is that it depends so majorly on the dancers (what is emotionally portrayed or restrained, and their connections) and their performance quality made some serious magic happen on Sunday night. I remember sitting in the dark with my silly clamp light in my lap, watching and lighting, tears flowing down my face, and trying both suavely and frantically to wipe them away as the dancers got close to the downstage region, so they wouldn't see me awkwardly in the darkness.
I absolutely love being a creator, wouldn't ever ever want it any other way. I am very grateful that I was able to take a big risk, that I have a great partner, and that there are so many supporters that are making our org flourish.
So now we are in a new week...
Monday I crashed, cried, enjoyed my puppy and the weather, and regained my composure.
Yesterday I went to work, and had one of the first successes I've had in the arts at Tobin. The kids have been a hard sell on performing mediums, but I had a good sized group of girls trust me enough to do some theatre, and they had a great time. At the end of the day I got word of some interest in dance...
This week is grant-mania. Merli and I have 5 grants due this week, and a CRAZY project in mind. Wish us luck... We also have a bunch due over November and December. While we only have a year behind our belts, it was such a solid year. 2 self-produced performances, a statewide tour, invitations to perform in multiple fundraisers and festivals, a Boston Center for the Arts performance, invite to be guest lecturers at a MHC arts talk, a gala, a community outreach project... now a Mobius performance next week. We have no intention on losing momentum!
So that's life.... and non-life.
Friday, October 7, 2011
I'm sad, happy, numb, relieved, more sad, more numb.
We were running our show to prep for Seacoast Fringe this weekend, and I finally began to love my new piece. I had tears in my eyes at a moment or two, because it was finally becoming perfect, powerful, expressing just what I wanted it to say.
After packing up all of our belongings, chatting with dancers, getting a park bench into a station wagon etc, I read a text from my mom:
'Grampa is at peace, Auntie just called me. They just called her that he just passed away. I don't want to talk so excuse the texting. React with love and relief for him that he is out of the nightmare he was in in his broken body. Lisa told him we all love him and named us all to him and said he will be in our hearts forever.'
I passed his hospice/home on the way to rehearsal, passing through Needham, and had just said a few nice words and by usual 'hello' as I passed by without enough time to stop. I knew from my mom yesterday night that he had finally committed to dying, telling the nurses to freeze all of his Ensures, raising a fist to the Armenian national anthem, and then saying to family members that he was going to try to die now. Always a philosophical joker, this is all taken with a grain of salt.
Fast-forward to 10:59pm. I got that text from my mom and just have been a bit numb since. I've spent so long (7 months, really) preparing for this very moment, and now I'm just so unsure of how to react.
For some time I've thought this piece I am creating was linked to his death. I was wondering whether it would be linked with our October performance, or the November showing of the piece, and as I sit here I realize it is perfect. The new piece has found its finality, though yet to be performed, I've told the story correctly, and now he can go and find peace. Biologically/scientifically, who really knows if there is a link or a convenient overlap, but I like to believe in the power of my art sometimes.
I feel guilty that I am sad and a bit angry at his death. I've had so much wonderful time to visit and talk and prepare for death, but I feel so robbed and unsure. I feel guilty that I haven't visited in over a week, I am sad that I left him alone in the drab room with the dated floral window treatments and slow-moving nurses. Death's a real pain in the ass.
Looking forward to spending time performing this piece, and taking Luminarium to Portsmouth, not everyone has something they love so much to occupy a whole weekend and make them focus.
Sad, sad, sad, more sad. The end.
(because now I don't want to write anymore...)
We were running our show to prep for Seacoast Fringe this weekend, and I finally began to love my new piece. I had tears in my eyes at a moment or two, because it was finally becoming perfect, powerful, expressing just what I wanted it to say.
After packing up all of our belongings, chatting with dancers, getting a park bench into a station wagon etc, I read a text from my mom:
'Grampa is at peace, Auntie just called me. They just called her that he just passed away. I don't want to talk so excuse the texting. React with love and relief for him that he is out of the nightmare he was in in his broken body. Lisa told him we all love him and named us all to him and said he will be in our hearts forever.'
I passed his hospice/home on the way to rehearsal, passing through Needham, and had just said a few nice words and by usual 'hello' as I passed by without enough time to stop. I knew from my mom yesterday night that he had finally committed to dying, telling the nurses to freeze all of his Ensures, raising a fist to the Armenian national anthem, and then saying to family members that he was going to try to die now. Always a philosophical joker, this is all taken with a grain of salt.
Fast-forward to 10:59pm. I got that text from my mom and just have been a bit numb since. I've spent so long (7 months, really) preparing for this very moment, and now I'm just so unsure of how to react.
For some time I've thought this piece I am creating was linked to his death. I was wondering whether it would be linked with our October performance, or the November showing of the piece, and as I sit here I realize it is perfect. The new piece has found its finality, though yet to be performed, I've told the story correctly, and now he can go and find peace. Biologically/scientifically, who really knows if there is a link or a convenient overlap, but I like to believe in the power of my art sometimes.
I feel guilty that I am sad and a bit angry at his death. I've had so much wonderful time to visit and talk and prepare for death, but I feel so robbed and unsure. I feel guilty that I haven't visited in over a week, I am sad that I left him alone in the drab room with the dated floral window treatments and slow-moving nurses. Death's a real pain in the ass.
Looking forward to spending time performing this piece, and taking Luminarium to Portsmouth, not everyone has something they love so much to occupy a whole weekend and make them focus.
Sad, sad, sad, more sad. The end.
(because now I don't want to write anymore...)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
black... or charcoal... or navy...
Whenever I wear clothing to a funeral it always becomes completely marked by the event. I do mean completely... a hanging instant association with sitting in a hard pew, or standing still in a cemetery while your heels are sinking into the earth, or many tears.
I just recently donated a dark blue and black kimono-esque top that I wore to my grandmother's funeral sophomore year of high school. I remember coming home from dance, and my mom sitting me down in our living room to tell me that Adie had a stroke and would never wake up from it. I remember staring as intently as I could at the cover of the TIME magazine on our coffee table so I wouldn't explode with questions and tears- it was the issue in memoriam of the Columbia space shuttle, which disintegrated when it tried to re-enter earth. On our drive up to Maine we stopped at Macys and I picked out the top thinking it was really quite awesome and I'd love to wear it again and again once life returned to normal, but that was never the case. There were many instances where I eyed it, hanging in my closet among other dressier tops, thinking how cute it was... but I could never really walk out the door wearing it.
A year-plus ago I went to Russell's grandfather's funeral. With no notice I grabbed the only black dress in my closet that I was in the mood to wear. It had some abstract polka dots, and was cut in an almost 40s, bordering on pin-up, style and it was stretchy and fun and I had thrown it on countless times. As I write this blog entry I now realize that I haven't worn it since that day, though I don't think it is as intensely/emotionally connected to a death as the above top.
Currently, I find myself waiting out the week- waiting for the inevitable phone call from my mom to let me know that my grampa has passed. Maybe it's shallow, but I find myself considering what the heck I am going to wear. I have so much black, charcoal grey, navy blue etc., but what will become the new marked item, or, do you instead dress to memorialize someone through what you wear? Where do the considerations fall? I guess many people would put their efforts into grieving and just showing up to the designated place at the right time, but perhaps our funeral attire, or at least my funeral attire, deserves more thought.
I just recently donated a dark blue and black kimono-esque top that I wore to my grandmother's funeral sophomore year of high school. I remember coming home from dance, and my mom sitting me down in our living room to tell me that Adie had a stroke and would never wake up from it. I remember staring as intently as I could at the cover of the TIME magazine on our coffee table so I wouldn't explode with questions and tears- it was the issue in memoriam of the Columbia space shuttle, which disintegrated when it tried to re-enter earth. On our drive up to Maine we stopped at Macys and I picked out the top thinking it was really quite awesome and I'd love to wear it again and again once life returned to normal, but that was never the case. There were many instances where I eyed it, hanging in my closet among other dressier tops, thinking how cute it was... but I could never really walk out the door wearing it.
A year-plus ago I went to Russell's grandfather's funeral. With no notice I grabbed the only black dress in my closet that I was in the mood to wear. It had some abstract polka dots, and was cut in an almost 40s, bordering on pin-up, style and it was stretchy and fun and I had thrown it on countless times. As I write this blog entry I now realize that I haven't worn it since that day, though I don't think it is as intensely/emotionally connected to a death as the above top.
Currently, I find myself waiting out the week- waiting for the inevitable phone call from my mom to let me know that my grampa has passed. Maybe it's shallow, but I find myself considering what the heck I am going to wear. I have so much black, charcoal grey, navy blue etc., but what will become the new marked item, or, do you instead dress to memorialize someone through what you wear? Where do the considerations fall? I guess many people would put their efforts into grieving and just showing up to the designated place at the right time, but perhaps our funeral attire, or at least my funeral attire, deserves more thought.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
10 months later...
So, last year, Russell and I decided about two weeks before the first time homebuyers tax credit expired (we're talking April 2010) we needed to become homeowners. Our one bedroom apartment on the Waltham/W.Newton line was lovely, but we had outgrown it. As a couple of impulsive shoppers, we decided to do the leg work on Zip Realty, found some properties, and started going to open houses one weekend. Well, to make a long blog post a bit more concise, it DID NOT work out. The agent was late, could have cared less (even though we already did all of the work finding homes) and when we saddened that we didn't magically fall in love with the first property we walked into, she was like 'no? okay, find something else and we can go look'...
In our overwhelmed confrontation with reality, Russell and I found ourselves slumped in someone's TINY living room (no way would we buy a glorified low ceilinged one bedroom home with no land for 289k), with my mom telling us why we needed a real realtor (there are many things I can do or figure out how to do myself, apparently real estate isn't one of them) and like magic, Susan Shruhan and Kevin Monahan from Jack Conway Realty poofed into our lives. They were wonderful about listening to and understanding what we needed from a home, and introduced us to condos, townhouses, foreclosures and shortsales. [Sidenote, though we were pre-approved for 350k, there was NO WAY we could afford that mortgage... and we wonder why everyone's screwed over money-wise in this country? We felt comfortable at or under 250k, and unfortunately that doesn't go far for a legit house in Boston!] We viewed tons of properties with Susan and Kevin, and decided we would focus on the Roslindale/West Roxbury/JP/Hyde Park area. For a bit we looked at multi-families, to play the landlord game and make some money (too overwhelming), for another period of time we looked at BEAUTIFUL condos in JP (while amazing these condos were still often 290k!), and lots of foreclosures. We got in a rut and totally stuck and discouraged for a tiny bit, and then I asked to see a house in Roslindale that Russell had passed over.
For some reason I was drawn to this house because it was tall (great reasoning, I know) and it had a tree in front of it. It also had some mystery going on, and I'm all about the mystery.
A big perk was the backyard space as well. Russell had given up on getting New Hampshire sized land, but to find a house with lots of green space with a Boston zip code was a delight.
As I am sure you can tell just from the outdoor pics, this house was not in lovely shape! It was a HUD foreclosure, had been vacant for a seriously long time, and before that it was a type of sketchy boarding house (read: sweet drug smell, marbles in the floorboards, a bit of graffiti here and there, snails everywhere, total re-do needed inside). But I LOVED it! I walked in to find sunny living space throughout, high ceilings, wood floors in surprisingly good shape, and POTENTIAL. Problems were that the kitchen and half bath on the first floor needed a complete gut, both spaces couldn't even be used.
Russell and I were lucky enough to have my dad, who is a great handyman/carpenter/construction/nothing he can't do/fix kind of guy, and my mom who offered super generously to fund the kitchen gut/replacement (amazing, will never be able to send enough gratitude), and that was enough to get us to jump. Nervously, we low bid 215k, had to counter 225k, got accepted, and waited MONTHS to get into the house. Seriously, I won't detail it here, but buying a foreclosure with a FHA loan is kind of a nightmare. Finally, we closed on August 28, 2010... and rushed right over to start ripping things out of the house! We moved in on our first wedding anniversary (Aug 30) after Russell's parents graciously hired us a moving company. We were just so incredibly stressed with the HUGE project we had committed to, that this was a great gift.
Below are some 'before' pictures... in retrospect, I can't believe how brave we were to tackle this! Sorry, the pics aren't quite in chronological order...
The kitchen.. a bit into gutting. We're talking mold, snails, no appliances, awful wiring and plumbing, leaks, grossness. Russell is amazing for ripping most of this out!
yuck.
The whole house had/has the classy orange paint job found on the stairs here. Also, fake wood paneling... everywhere. The floors were tile, but AWFUL... cracked, chipped, condensation on them... no good. They were a pain in the ass to remove, since there were 2 layers of adhesive linoleum underneath, and then the 1800s wood nailed down with square nails. The square nails were by far the coolest part of this project.
Living room with some of the weird wallpaper removed...
Hallway with the stylin wood paneling.
Stairway to the third floor, orange paint and wood paneling in their full glory. Doesn't it make it look so closed in and awful? Yes.
Yucky kitchen when we moved in... The photos don't make it look as gross as it was...
Otherside of kitchen, aka nothing.
The living room had a jail built into the skinny doorway... left gap for crack, middle for guns, right gap for meth.
It got fun to throw all of the junk out the window into the backyard... until we realized we had no idea how to get rid of it! Thanks to pain in the trash removal services it was not problem.
(yes, that is the stove tossed into the pile)
Now, I am happy to present some new pictures! The first floor and some backyard reno took 10 months (Russell had a crushed thumb from work for a month in there, so we lost a bit of time), but we did it entirely ourselves, no hired contractors except for the electrician who had to install the plug for the dryer, and the electrician who had to hook up the dishwasher! Isn't it beautiful!?
In our overwhelmed confrontation with reality, Russell and I found ourselves slumped in someone's TINY living room (no way would we buy a glorified low ceilinged one bedroom home with no land for 289k), with my mom telling us why we needed a real realtor (there are many things I can do or figure out how to do myself, apparently real estate isn't one of them) and like magic, Susan Shruhan and Kevin Monahan from Jack Conway Realty poofed into our lives. They were wonderful about listening to and understanding what we needed from a home, and introduced us to condos, townhouses, foreclosures and shortsales. [Sidenote, though we were pre-approved for 350k, there was NO WAY we could afford that mortgage... and we wonder why everyone's screwed over money-wise in this country? We felt comfortable at or under 250k, and unfortunately that doesn't go far for a legit house in Boston!] We viewed tons of properties with Susan and Kevin, and decided we would focus on the Roslindale/West Roxbury/JP/Hyde Park area. For a bit we looked at multi-families, to play the landlord game and make some money (too overwhelming), for another period of time we looked at BEAUTIFUL condos in JP (while amazing these condos were still often 290k!), and lots of foreclosures. We got in a rut and totally stuck and discouraged for a tiny bit, and then I asked to see a house in Roslindale that Russell had passed over.
A big perk was the backyard space as well. Russell had given up on getting New Hampshire sized land, but to find a house with lots of green space with a Boston zip code was a delight.
As I am sure you can tell just from the outdoor pics, this house was not in lovely shape! It was a HUD foreclosure, had been vacant for a seriously long time, and before that it was a type of sketchy boarding house (read: sweet drug smell, marbles in the floorboards, a bit of graffiti here and there, snails everywhere, total re-do needed inside). But I LOVED it! I walked in to find sunny living space throughout, high ceilings, wood floors in surprisingly good shape, and POTENTIAL. Problems were that the kitchen and half bath on the first floor needed a complete gut, both spaces couldn't even be used.
Russell and I were lucky enough to have my dad, who is a great handyman/carpenter/construction/nothing he can't do/fix kind of guy, and my mom who offered super generously to fund the kitchen gut/replacement (amazing, will never be able to send enough gratitude), and that was enough to get us to jump. Nervously, we low bid 215k, had to counter 225k, got accepted, and waited MONTHS to get into the house. Seriously, I won't detail it here, but buying a foreclosure with a FHA loan is kind of a nightmare. Finally, we closed on August 28, 2010... and rushed right over to start ripping things out of the house! We moved in on our first wedding anniversary (Aug 30) after Russell's parents graciously hired us a moving company. We were just so incredibly stressed with the HUGE project we had committed to, that this was a great gift.
Below are some 'before' pictures... in retrospect, I can't believe how brave we were to tackle this! Sorry, the pics aren't quite in chronological order...
(yes, that is the stove tossed into the pile)
Now, I am happy to present some new pictures! The first floor and some backyard reno took 10 months (Russell had a crushed thumb from work for a month in there, so we lost a bit of time), but we did it entirely ourselves, no hired contractors except for the electrician who had to install the plug for the dryer, and the electrician who had to hook up the dishwasher! Isn't it beautiful!?
So... that's it! Now on to the second floor, and then the third!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Where'd everyone go??
So here I am... three days into my two week break between jobs.
Life is so strangely empty, but in an ok way. There are no crazy little kids running around causing chaos, no awful commuting through the city. It's just me, the dog and the house.
I am excited to have the time to actually get stuff done. There are doors to paint, trim to prime and paint, and my mountain range of clothes on the third floor to finally finally organize. I cleaned out 5 moving boxes yesterday! Finally! Also, Operation Shoe-Racki Freedom has been completed. So. Many. Shoes. So glad to have them all back though, I've been wearing the same pairs over and over again.
More importantly (before this blog gets super boring) our Luminarium Sponsor Benefit Gala is this Sunday!!!!
We are so excited to celebrate our one-year anniversary and get to reflect on the amazing strides we've taken in the past year. It's crazy to look back on, a blog post about that will I'm sure follow in the next couple of days.
If the weather holds out we are going to work with the amazing photographer Jordan Matter this afternoon. We are going to participate in Dancers Among Us, a national photo project showcasing the likes of Mark Morris dancers, ABT dancers, American Rep Ballet dancers, So You Think You Can Dance dancers... amazing beautiful professional dancers... and us!!! This excites me to no end. We have been such a legitimate entity as a dance company recently... I'm just very proud and also so tickled inside!
Anyways, yes. Fighting off boredom one paint job at a time.
Life is so strangely empty, but in an ok way. There are no crazy little kids running around causing chaos, no awful commuting through the city. It's just me, the dog and the house.
I am excited to have the time to actually get stuff done. There are doors to paint, trim to prime and paint, and my mountain range of clothes on the third floor to finally finally organize. I cleaned out 5 moving boxes yesterday! Finally! Also, Operation Shoe-Racki Freedom has been completed. So. Many. Shoes. So glad to have them all back though, I've been wearing the same pairs over and over again.
More importantly (before this blog gets super boring) our Luminarium Sponsor Benefit Gala is this Sunday!!!!
We are so excited to celebrate our one-year anniversary and get to reflect on the amazing strides we've taken in the past year. It's crazy to look back on, a blog post about that will I'm sure follow in the next couple of days.
If the weather holds out we are going to work with the amazing photographer Jordan Matter this afternoon. We are going to participate in Dancers Among Us, a national photo project showcasing the likes of Mark Morris dancers, ABT dancers, American Rep Ballet dancers, So You Think You Can Dance dancers... amazing beautiful professional dancers... and us!!! This excites me to no end. We have been such a legitimate entity as a dance company recently... I'm just very proud and also so tickled inside!
Anyways, yes. Fighting off boredom one paint job at a time.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Tear jerkerrrrr....
I just found myself totally in tears like a total sap over that performance that Memphis did on the Tonys.
(Back story, a group of underprivileged kiddos got the chance to attend a performance of memphis on broadway, and learned the closing number so they could pop up and sing and dance along and totally surprise the cast as they performed it onstage themselves! Tonight on the Tonys the cast performed the number, and all the kids came out to dance it at the end!)
The cute little overwhelmed and beyond ecstatic faces of the kids that came out to perform with the cast beyond reminded me of my own kids at JBGC, and just got me more upset about leaving them on Thursday. While I know I am making the right decision to make a change in my career, and move on to new things, I cannot help but be totally sad about the number of kids I have become close with.
At some point in that first week of work, back in 2009 after graduating MHC I found myself looking into a then-7 year old's round brown eyes while they asked me "you'll never leave us... right?". At that point I thought to myself 'ohhhh damn, this is going to be incredibly hard to leave if I need to in the future', but I could never have guessed how hard that would, in fact, be. In the past 2 years I have met hundreds of kids of all ages, have had them slowly come to trust me and to enjoy dance and theatre classes. I've had kids confide completely in me about their completely screwed up family lives/at home situations, I've had them laugh and cry and bounce back again in classes... I've really just had the chance to become so close to these innocent little kids that have had the shittiest luck in life/the short straw pulled for them, and now I am walking away.
When I told kids I was leaving early last week there were some freakouts, some tears, some tears that were gruffly wiped away and attested to allergies or something in the eye, and many many questions. One little girl that I've watched grow up a good deal and have some INTENSE ups and downs with got in my face and yelled "you're SUPPOSED to stay here until you DIE... because I love you and dance will suck without you here!"... I didn't have anything to say, I just looked at her and felt awful and knew I had to do what I was doing, but just felt so dead and cold inside that I couldn't give her a reason or reassurance or anything.
I try to validate this situation by reasoning that you really can't just stay somewhere because you love the kids, if there is more than just the kids to consider, and if there are other great opportunities waiting. I try to validate by viewing myself as a Mary Poppins of sorts, and crossing my fingers that there will be someone great waiting in the wings that can swoop in to my abandoned kiddos and win their hearts quickly so they will fall in love with their new teacher and forget all about me.
ARHIUWOFJNLS.
Ok, so then the Tony's have to go and play 'somewhere' from WSS, and that ALWAYS gets me emotional. Back in the day when Bob (childhood dance studio owner's husband and huge presence in the studio and in my life) passed away, we all went back to the studio after the funeral and danced and danced and danced for Bob... Anyways, we were doing West Side Story that year, and so every time I hear 'somewhere' it just makes me think about dancing to it after that funeral in my black dress clothes and tights with the other emotionally overwhelmed girls I danced with, and not being able to process a loss like that in any other means than dance. This was a beautiful moment, in retrospect, but we're already coming off the heels of the kid showcase meltdown... so I'm an easy sob victim.
I WILL GET PAST THIS. There are a million more kids in the world that don't have anything in the world, and someday maybe I can work with them and provide them a little glimmer of something special to hold onto. Someday, someday, someday.
For now, tissues!
(Back story, a group of underprivileged kiddos got the chance to attend a performance of memphis on broadway, and learned the closing number so they could pop up and sing and dance along and totally surprise the cast as they performed it onstage themselves! Tonight on the Tonys the cast performed the number, and all the kids came out to dance it at the end!)
The cute little overwhelmed and beyond ecstatic faces of the kids that came out to perform with the cast beyond reminded me of my own kids at JBGC, and just got me more upset about leaving them on Thursday. While I know I am making the right decision to make a change in my career, and move on to new things, I cannot help but be totally sad about the number of kids I have become close with.
At some point in that first week of work, back in 2009 after graduating MHC I found myself looking into a then-7 year old's round brown eyes while they asked me "you'll never leave us... right?". At that point I thought to myself 'ohhhh damn, this is going to be incredibly hard to leave if I need to in the future', but I could never have guessed how hard that would, in fact, be. In the past 2 years I have met hundreds of kids of all ages, have had them slowly come to trust me and to enjoy dance and theatre classes. I've had kids confide completely in me about their completely screwed up family lives/at home situations, I've had them laugh and cry and bounce back again in classes... I've really just had the chance to become so close to these innocent little kids that have had the shittiest luck in life/the short straw pulled for them, and now I am walking away.
When I told kids I was leaving early last week there were some freakouts, some tears, some tears that were gruffly wiped away and attested to allergies or something in the eye, and many many questions. One little girl that I've watched grow up a good deal and have some INTENSE ups and downs with got in my face and yelled "you're SUPPOSED to stay here until you DIE... because I love you and dance will suck without you here!"... I didn't have anything to say, I just looked at her and felt awful and knew I had to do what I was doing, but just felt so dead and cold inside that I couldn't give her a reason or reassurance or anything.
I try to validate this situation by reasoning that you really can't just stay somewhere because you love the kids, if there is more than just the kids to consider, and if there are other great opportunities waiting. I try to validate by viewing myself as a Mary Poppins of sorts, and crossing my fingers that there will be someone great waiting in the wings that can swoop in to my abandoned kiddos and win their hearts quickly so they will fall in love with their new teacher and forget all about me.
ARHIUWOFJNLS.
Ok, so then the Tony's have to go and play 'somewhere' from WSS, and that ALWAYS gets me emotional. Back in the day when Bob (childhood dance studio owner's husband and huge presence in the studio and in my life) passed away, we all went back to the studio after the funeral and danced and danced and danced for Bob... Anyways, we were doing West Side Story that year, and so every time I hear 'somewhere' it just makes me think about dancing to it after that funeral in my black dress clothes and tights with the other emotionally overwhelmed girls I danced with, and not being able to process a loss like that in any other means than dance. This was a beautiful moment, in retrospect, but we're already coming off the heels of the kid showcase meltdown... so I'm an easy sob victim.
I WILL GET PAST THIS. There are a million more kids in the world that don't have anything in the world, and someday maybe I can work with them and provide them a little glimmer of something special to hold onto. Someday, someday, someday.
For now, tissues!
Friday, April 29, 2011
But wait, there's more!
I meant to include a photo of my beautiful pooch.
I am a RIDICULOUS dog parent. There is just so much love in my heart for this crazy little canine. I couldn't have anticipated the feeling in a million years.
Playing catch up...
In an attempt to not go a full month since posting, here I go.
I've been visiting my grampa in the hospital every spare weekend day/holiday I have free. While I have found some solace in having time with someone to talk and listen and learn, I have come to the conclusion that aging sucks. There is not much that is graceful and happy and natural about dying; tubes, machines, incontinence, pain, fright and loneliness certainly aren't pleasant- how many people do we actually know that pass peacefully in their sleep? However... I am not going to write a long angsty post about this and dwell on it. It wastes time.
Easter.
Easter was wonderful- my more immediate family (my mom's side) and my grampa's immediate family that live on this continent made up a lovely trilingual crowd of 25. It was really refreshing to have English NOT be the main language spoken and to communicate with people by touches and smiles and gestures. The important stuff spoken was, of course, translated from Armenian into English and French and it was just so easy to enjoy. Lots of Armenian food and pastries, and a solid round of the egg game (of course I didn't win, but my grampa taught me his secret for next year)... Russell bravely tried the khema, and was applauded by the family. All in all it was a bittersweet day, the first and last (most likely) of such celebrated easters, but I am so glad to have the memories.
Luminarium.
So much Luminarium news. Our Kickstarter campaign was launched, endured, and a success- we raised $2100 in 18 days! Read more here. Consequently, we released our dance film 'Everything But Blue' at an event to conclude the campaign--Watch here! It was well attended, and a lot of fun. Since then it has been full-steam ahead in rehearsals working towards finishing our new piece for Commencement Concert at Mount Holyoke College, May 21, that we were invited to showcase work in. After that, we embark on our mini-tour across Massachusetts- with performances just about each week from mid-May through June. June 26 is the date of our first benefit gala- both a fundraiser and just general celebration for Luminarium's first anniversary! It will be held at AKA Bistro in Lincoln, MA and there will be lots of amazing hors d'oeuvres and live music and drinks and fun. Tickets will be available for purchase soon, details at www.LuminariumDance.org. I CANNOT believe all we have done in a year. Seriously. Day to day it feels so commonplace to push hard and create and accomplish, but when I look back on the year, its really stunning. After June we take our show to New Hampshire for fall, and then back to Cambridge for a show towards the end of the year. Stay tuned, we have plenty on our agenda.
Other?
Life is good. Lots of accomplishments artistic and otherwise, and some promising opportunities on the horizon. I've befriended a tiny mouse. I have a backyard of my own and I can enjoy warm nights such as this one. The dog is wonderful, my friends are wonderful, and I feel fairly grown up at 23.75 years. I guess the only semi-not great thing is Russell's current work situation. He is currently (and mandatorily) working 72 hour work weeks in Worcester on a large government project and will be doing so for at least the next 6 weeks, but possibly for another 9 weeks. It is lousy for him to come home at like 8pm, have dinner, and then go to bed to wake up at 4:30 or so. We have barely any time to hang out and I miss him! Paychecks with 32 hours of overtime certainly aren't lousy, however, and make me feel slightly sheepish about my odd mix of part time work. At least it has an end date, and then life can go back to normal- or what we consider normal.
Other other news... let's see. A little girl I coached on acting at work got three callbacks based on the audition material we worked on! It was a triumph and I was so proud. I successfully potted a plant (this shouldn't be such a triumph, but it is since I have been relying on Russell to do these types of things). I found an AWESOME new mascara that I love. It is sandal weather.
Really, I feel like I can end this with "it is sandal weather" because it is really my favorite thing ever. No need to elaborate or go on and on in this blog post... summer time!
Oh wait. Wanted to add that the live trees inside Westminster Abbey were fabulous. I didn't really watch the royal wedding or much coverage (just looked at pictures online of that beautiful dress) but noticed the trees on the segment on the news. Beautiful blooming trees make things better.
Ok the end, for real.
I've been visiting my grampa in the hospital every spare weekend day/holiday I have free. While I have found some solace in having time with someone to talk and listen and learn, I have come to the conclusion that aging sucks. There is not much that is graceful and happy and natural about dying; tubes, machines, incontinence, pain, fright and loneliness certainly aren't pleasant- how many people do we actually know that pass peacefully in their sleep? However... I am not going to write a long angsty post about this and dwell on it. It wastes time.
Easter.
Easter was wonderful- my more immediate family (my mom's side) and my grampa's immediate family that live on this continent made up a lovely trilingual crowd of 25. It was really refreshing to have English NOT be the main language spoken and to communicate with people by touches and smiles and gestures. The important stuff spoken was, of course, translated from Armenian into English and French and it was just so easy to enjoy. Lots of Armenian food and pastries, and a solid round of the egg game (of course I didn't win, but my grampa taught me his secret for next year)... Russell bravely tried the khema, and was applauded by the family. All in all it was a bittersweet day, the first and last (most likely) of such celebrated easters, but I am so glad to have the memories.
Luminarium.
So much Luminarium news. Our Kickstarter campaign was launched, endured, and a success- we raised $2100 in 18 days! Read more here. Consequently, we released our dance film 'Everything But Blue' at an event to conclude the campaign--Watch here! It was well attended, and a lot of fun. Since then it has been full-steam ahead in rehearsals working towards finishing our new piece for Commencement Concert at Mount Holyoke College, May 21, that we were invited to showcase work in. After that, we embark on our mini-tour across Massachusetts- with performances just about each week from mid-May through June. June 26 is the date of our first benefit gala- both a fundraiser and just general celebration for Luminarium's first anniversary! It will be held at AKA Bistro in Lincoln, MA and there will be lots of amazing hors d'oeuvres and live music and drinks and fun. Tickets will be available for purchase soon, details at www.LuminariumDance.org. I CANNOT believe all we have done in a year. Seriously. Day to day it feels so commonplace to push hard and create and accomplish, but when I look back on the year, its really stunning. After June we take our show to New Hampshire for fall, and then back to Cambridge for a show towards the end of the year. Stay tuned, we have plenty on our agenda.
Other?
Life is good. Lots of accomplishments artistic and otherwise, and some promising opportunities on the horizon. I've befriended a tiny mouse. I have a backyard of my own and I can enjoy warm nights such as this one. The dog is wonderful, my friends are wonderful, and I feel fairly grown up at 23.75 years. I guess the only semi-not great thing is Russell's current work situation. He is currently (and mandatorily) working 72 hour work weeks in Worcester on a large government project and will be doing so for at least the next 6 weeks, but possibly for another 9 weeks. It is lousy for him to come home at like 8pm, have dinner, and then go to bed to wake up at 4:30 or so. We have barely any time to hang out and I miss him! Paychecks with 32 hours of overtime certainly aren't lousy, however, and make me feel slightly sheepish about my odd mix of part time work. At least it has an end date, and then life can go back to normal- or what we consider normal.
Other other news... let's see. A little girl I coached on acting at work got three callbacks based on the audition material we worked on! It was a triumph and I was so proud. I successfully potted a plant (this shouldn't be such a triumph, but it is since I have been relying on Russell to do these types of things). I found an AWESOME new mascara that I love. It is sandal weather.
Really, I feel like I can end this with "it is sandal weather" because it is really my favorite thing ever. No need to elaborate or go on and on in this blog post... summer time!
Oh wait. Wanted to add that the live trees inside Westminster Abbey were fabulous. I didn't really watch the royal wedding or much coverage (just looked at pictures online of that beautiful dress) but noticed the trees on the segment on the news. Beautiful blooming trees make things better.
Ok the end, for real.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Extremes...
My life is funny right now.
There is so much going right, and then there are just a few tough things that are hard to handle.
Positive before negatives, yes?
There is so much going right, and then there are just a few tough things that are hard to handle.
Positive before negatives, yes?
- Steph got engaged. I think that is absolutely fantastic and I am so happy for her and Wes (and Charlotte).
- 'How to Succeed in Business...' is over, and ended up going well. I am so happy I got to choreograph with director Fran White again, and I really enjoy working at Babson College- there are some great people there. While it was a somewhat dance-sparse show, I had fun with the style of it all.
- Luminarium has a somewhat permanent rehearsal space on Thursday nights at Green St Studios in Cambridge, MA! You have no idea what a pain in the ass finding consistent rehearsal space is, this is amazing.
- Luminarium ALSO is in the midst of a Kickstarter Campaign, that looks like it is going to be super successful. In the first 36ish hours we have 13 backers and have brought in nearly $800! 16 days to go.... check out our project here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ldc/performing-arts-project-bringing-art-to-underserve
- Luminarium is getting a blurb and photo in the alumna magazine!
- We are totally committed to having our first SPONSOR BENEFIT GALA! A lovely place in Lincoln is hosting this great event for us in June, and we are just embarking on details. I feel so legitimate as a dance company right now (if the last 3 bullet points didn't demonstrate that)
- Lawyer search 2011. No details about this yet to give, but, it's a total feel good in my life right now.
- Job opportunities. Another no info for you yet...
SO all of that feels so great and makes me excited and buzzing at all times.
Unfortunately, at the bottom of my gut, there is this nasty darkness. My grampa who is such a fixture in our family has been rediagnosed with cancer, which is already in his spine and hips and he is in a lot of pain and rapidly deteriorating. This is crazy to me, at Jenn's bday celebration in March you could kind of notice it- and whipped out this pill and was like 'ok this is my cancer pill!' Now I guess you can tell he is scared, and just going downhill fast. I am not technically going to see him until Easter, but how will he be then? I have no idea how he is doing, I just have second hand info from my mom, and it is so scary and sad. My grampa since I can remember has been the most comparable human being to yoda- at least a Middle Eastern version. He is always so stable with his philosophic statements about life, and can get away with poking very subtle jokes at anyone, while interspersing some fresh armenian word in there. It is just very tough to have to stand around and basically wait for someone to die, while they are in pain and scared about dying.
Blah.
How does one balance such high ups, and low downs...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
FAMOUS.
I forgot to post this some time ago...
South End Patch Article
While a formal dance company update will follow at some point, we had a very successful performance at Boston Center for the Arts (Movement at the Mills), and I wanted to share this article.
South End Patch Article
While a formal dance company update will follow at some point, we had a very successful performance at Boston Center for the Arts (Movement at the Mills), and I wanted to share this article.
woes of construction...
Ok, as a preface, I love being a homeowner. I have lots of space, there is a fenced in yard for the dog, I am getting everything just the way I like it, and I am just enjoying it!
HOWEVER...
I, Hate. Dust...
and it's everywhere!!! Knock down one tiny wall and BAM your house is covered in it. Put up another wall and BAM there it is again. Don't even mention when you have to joint compound the new wall, and then sand the joint compound (bam?).
This last weekend was the worst, I left for an 8 hour rehearsal for the musical @ babson college, and I got back to the gutted remains of the walls and ceiling around my staircase, and grey nasty plaster dust coating everything. Even the dog. Cut to 2 days after, and I am still sweeping. Russell and I have probably both put in 3 hours apiece on controlling this dust, and it keeps blowing around and resettling...it is very stressful, and I hate feeling it on my hands and in my hair.
End dust rant.
HOWEVER...
I, Hate. Dust...
and it's everywhere!!! Knock down one tiny wall and BAM your house is covered in it. Put up another wall and BAM there it is again. Don't even mention when you have to joint compound the new wall, and then sand the joint compound (bam?).
This last weekend was the worst, I left for an 8 hour rehearsal for the musical @ babson college, and I got back to the gutted remains of the walls and ceiling around my staircase, and grey nasty plaster dust coating everything. Even the dog. Cut to 2 days after, and I am still sweeping. Russell and I have probably both put in 3 hours apiece on controlling this dust, and it keeps blowing around and resettling...it is very stressful, and I hate feeling it on my hands and in my hair.
End dust rant.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Last chance...
First of all, this blog desperately needs a decent title. Suggestions? I have been completely striking out.
Also, this is definitely my self-imposed last chance at blogging. I am doing it mainly for myself (to work out ideas, share creative process, record things to look back on)... but if this is another failed attempt at journaling my life I'm going to quit for good. I swear.
Things that will be coming soon...
-Pictures of the new house, and the crazy process we are making in flipping it
-Dance company updates (www.Luminariumdance.org - it's really ALL i do these days, but I am ok with that)
-Ritalin-deprived ramblings
-Proud puppy-parent bragging
... and that's all I can think of. Now it is time to find out who else I can follow (without making myself late for work, it's a challenge)!!
Also, this is definitely my self-imposed last chance at blogging. I am doing it mainly for myself (to work out ideas, share creative process, record things to look back on)... but if this is another failed attempt at journaling my life I'm going to quit for good. I swear.
Things that will be coming soon...
-Pictures of the new house, and the crazy process we are making in flipping it
-Dance company updates (www.Luminariumdance.org - it's really ALL i do these days, but I am ok with that)
-Ritalin-deprived ramblings
-Proud puppy-parent bragging
... and that's all I can think of. Now it is time to find out who else I can follow (without making myself late for work, it's a challenge)!!
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