same old new year

Here it is, the start of a fresh new year, the time for resolve and bright eyed determination.  While I am not one for making the New Years Resolution (our society has way too many random ambitions and resulting guilt trips) I just finished this book (Piece of Cake -a true story) about a woman that had everything going against her from a young age but was able to make some crazy life changes, creating and loving the person within her body she didn't know was there.  It really hit a nerve with me because so many of the demons I battle are self-constructed by mental blocks and an ingrown way of doing things that I never consciously chose.  There are things I look back upon, when reviewing the day, and find inexcusable; usually something so stupid and simple that I get mad at myself but still don't jump up and fix it.


Where is this going... I suppose I want to see what my mind and body are capable of doing, creating and falling in love with the person I know I can be/want to be.  There are several things I am proud of that occurred in 2010, while some are pretty trivial and this is an incomplete list, I want to touch on them and chronicle them for my own mind.


- a full year with a successful dance company/new family!
-no fast food (coffee obviously excluded) at any point during the year!
-in the late summer I dropped soda for good (diet coke, really, and it was HARD!) and then artificial sweeteners (for the most part...)
-made the decision to leave a job I felt unhappy at
-got a couple of new jobs I (usually) enjoy
-got the balls to chat with a psychiatrist about medicating my ADHD
-produced many shows semi-efficiently, thrived on the stress
-Took a bunch of beautiful photos here and there, most always for good money!
-made great progress on the house


There are more things, but I feel no need to continue the list.  My goals for the immediate for further away future, I've realized, are fairly health-centric.  Whether healing, learning, treating or working, especially as a performing artist, my body is all I've got!  I think the self-related goals will help clear up my internal head static as well, and perhaps I'll be able to find that natural focus eventually.


Goals for the future are under development.  We will see...