A sort of bitchy no-good-very-blah blog entry.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

7 days of sickness and no time to go to the doctor.

There was time, but I procrastinated.  (story of my....)

It's hard to be here (and satisfied) in the grey and cold, when just last week I was on the beach with one of my oldest friends in 85 degree sun.  Fizzy waves and green beach water rushed over our toes as we took a long walk, caught up on life and lost our moms like we were in elementary school.  We hunted for man o'war (none spotted), hated on seagulls, and fell right back in step. Beach days turned into a rehearsal dinner at the golf club, a wedding at a marble-interiored Catholic mega church, and a gorgeous cocktail hour and reception at a different golf resort.  I wore heels for 2.5 days straight, believe it or not, and tried not to wear too much black but probably failed.  It was unbelievably wonderful to reconnect with the other family I grew up with, though I felt a tiny bit like an alien in South Florida, but glad to witness someone wonderful marrying someone else wonderful.  It's also slightly nice to be back to my routine in dark colored clothing with tall leather boots and my huge bag.

Now I'm surrounded by stacks of clean clothes, Christmas stuff asking to be put away (because if not now, then when), snow needing shoveled, dishes needing sold, and a house needing renovation.  Again, it's not quite right.  While I was gone Russell used my office, filled up my trash basket, left my silk kimono on the floor, and rearranged a bit.  I'm a very open person and I love sharing space, but sometimes it's the tiny little things that push my buttons.  I'm trying to be nice and not too sassy, jury is out on whether I am succeeding.  The major problem here is very soon there will be things I consider WAY more satisfying (artistically, mainly) that I can just jump on... likely giving up my dull house work, though if I don't get it done I won't function well because I can't work in mess that isn't my sole creation!

I guess if I had a roller coaster in my backyard it would outgrow its rush, eventually.  I understand 'becoming an adult' in theory, just struggle with it in application.

Currently watching something on the History Channel about the invention of the bra and smirking my face off.  Also awkwardly listening to my neighbor shovel a tiny bit of snow off my sidewalk for the third time this evening.  It's not that bad out, and we were going to wait to shovel until it amounted to more, but he keeps making ninja-shovel-passes, so I can't even really go thank him without searching around and looking like a creeper.

The best news?  I might not have to work until Wednesday.  Technically scheduled for Monday, but there's a nice big chance I won't have to go in.  Sweet.

bye bye, boston

There is no appropriate reason for my suitcase for 5 days in Florida weighing 45 pounds, but... so be it.

It's been a weird two day week, and even weirder month, and I am hoping some warm sunny weather will clear my head.  I thought the last two weeks would be fantastic to refocus, get stupid odds and ends done, do some busy work... of course that didn't happen.  I could blame it on the holidays, current events, adhd, general tiredness, overactive brain, but I won't.  Or maybe I will, but I just can't pick which makes the best scapegoat.

While I know Twyla won't be sleeping much until I get home (seriously, she waits up for me- it's sort of sad and I sort of love it), I am excited to reconnect with my non-related family, the Fays!  It's funny to grow up alongside three girls, have them move away, keep up through serious-business twice a year family vacations, fall out of constant touch and then reunite and fall right back in sync.

The unknown is what happens the day after Christmas.  How do I resume completely normal life, while fitting in the stupid stuff I should've/would've/could've done already?  Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Regardless of someone's psychological state, the nation's opinions on gun laws, the want for revenge, the presence of metal detectors and security systems in schools, 20 little kids being killed is the devastating injustice of right now.  Changes need to be made, sure, but I am so sick of scanning my fb newsfeed to read personal opinions spoken from a soapbox about things that could've prevented this tragedy in their own professional opinions.  Have those opinions, keep them well thought out in your head, maybe share them down the road, but while families are grieving and wondering how to go on with life after they watched their kindergartner walk through classroom doors they'd never come out of again...

It was really hard to today to watch the news for an hour and then go to work.  What do I do, at my job... It basically boils down to keeping my school-age kids safe until they go home.  What happens when some crazily random impossible event happens and takes that ability away from you?  What happens when you can't do the one important task your work demands?  I never think my job is important until I realize what is at stake.  My major task isn't making sure the bottom line shows enough profit...

None of my work-kids knew of the shooting today.  Schools try to isolate the kids from news, nowadays, to let them learn it from their parents and calm down possible chaos.  We weren't supposed to break the news to them unless they asked about it, so I just sat in silence and thought about it.  All of the parents knew, and I made knowing eye contact with everyone picking up their child, wondering how the heck they would go home and break this news and explain it to their kids.  I guess I'll find out on Monday...

Forgot a bit about this song until just now.  Not the hugest REM fan in a bigger picture sense... but that's alright.

12/12/12 concert watching and rambling

12/12/12 Concert... SO good- a treat on a Wednesday.

This concert is also like a fun musical tour of growing up... so here, unfortunately for anyone reading this, is my live thought process while watching and remembering.  

We started with Pink Floyd, and my mind goes back to a 3-hour car ride to Maine with my mom and Jenn where Jenn and I enjoyed yelling the lyrics of Another Brick in the Wall.  Maybe second grade? That led my mom to try some tricky question-posing so we could discover (ourselves) what the song actually meant... not sure Jenn ever got it, but she always loved anything she could hum or yell to as a spunky little kid. Also childhood related was tons and tons of Clapton... When your uncle tours with the fellow, associated conversation is plentiful at family gatherings.  

The Who also falls into this family category.  When we went to London in the middle school years and stayed at the same Uncle's house I remember the answering machine taking a call... "Hi Roddy, this is Pete (townshend)..." and my mom asking me if I knew who that was.  Nope.  After that I educated myself in all thing British rock...

Fast forward to late middle school school, now that The Who is doing Tommy and my heart is hugely warm.  Tommy links into dance memories- we did See Me... in one of my first modern classes and it took me a really really long time to get it (mentally) and what made the show so great.  In middle/high school land I often wrinkled my nose at Bon Jovi- never liked him or his music too much.  I spent many a  school dance vacating the dance floor when Living on a Prayer came on.   Whatever.

High school... the time of Coldplay and also Alicia Keys making it cool to be a lady-pianist.  Also, it's the first time I saw Movin Out'-- which neatly lets me throw Billy Joel into this jumble of thoughts.

Having a hard time working Kanye in, as he has now taken the stage... except for that I was into Daft Punk, and then he covered Harder Better Faster?  I am lying only a tiny bit because I could proudly rap all of Gold Digger at some point... Not embarassing at all.  Don't like his leather kilt with hoodie, leggings and white sneaks ensemble, and neither am I a fan of the sampling of Shirley Bassey in whatever song he is doing now.

Because I'm lazy it's time to wrap this up.

I don't know how they're gonna fit in Paul McCartney, Billy Joel, Chris Martin, Dave Grohl in the next 30 minutes...

a step too far?

I hate having free time on my hands because it forces me to stop and think about things I can usually push to the far corners of my mind.

Mistakes I've made, mistakes I could very easily make, potential mistakes that are really misclassified as mistakes and possibly things that should just be done, courageously.

One blind leap does not a life ruin?

What is one big bold move YOU wish you could let yourself take, that is (at face value) quite possible?

Break-Up PSA

I was putzing around on Jezebel and came across the following video.  Kind of fantastic, kind of overwhelming, in need of a choreographer, not in need of more bass clarinet.

November highlights...

Two jump out at me.  These also aren't art-related, since I could go on for days about all the cool/funny/impressive/awful/ridiculous things that happened in Luminarium-land.

The first highlight was discovered in the greeting card section at Macys.

Apparently, 'just flirting' is a genre of card now (at least at Macy's in NH outside of the bathrooms...).  If you can't read this small pic, it features some naked limbs with the caption: 

"There are 206 bones in the human body..."  (inside) "I'd like to jump every one of yours."

GENIUS. 

For real, card makers, you've outdone yourself this time.   I did try, in fact, to think of someone to buy this card for.  Unfortunately, everyone I know that I would send this to understands how much of a joker I am.  Everyone I could maybe send this to that's on the fringe is a potential freak-out risk.  

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The second non-art highlight is the following video.  

It's great because it features my obnoxious voice, and ranges in subject from dog-porn to Christmas present-giveaways and so much more in the background commentary.  It also features Theo, who is fabulous, if not a bit dopey and enthusiastic.

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November also featured going to see Chicago (ouchhhhhh), recovering from sleepless Ithaca, buying a new couch, having a (still fun) non-party, and SO many things Luminarium. There were lots of boring things too, but they don't merit a mention.